


Saving Myself Is All I Really Know

by joanofarc12



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, Azula has schizophrenia (basically canon), Bitchlord Ozai, Blood and Injury, Canon up until the end of the Search comics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Mai/Ty Lee, Eventual Azula/Mai/Ty Lee, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Mai is a protective gf, Multi, Not Beta Read, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Polyamory, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, Royal Advisor Mai, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suki is an ICON, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, because azula is focusing on her mental health, can you tell i hate ozai, featuring the redemption arc that azula deserves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanofarc12/pseuds/joanofarc12
Summary: Seven years after the end of the war, Fire Lord Zuko begins receiving reports of a mysterious spirit using blue flames to attack bandits.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula & Positive Role Models, Azula & The Gaang (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula (Avatar) & Original Character(s), Azula/Mai (Avatar), Azula/Mai/Ty Lee, Azula/Therapy & Medication, Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Jeong Jeong/Piandao (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 132
Kudos: 337





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Dynasty by Rina Sawayama
> 
> Rated T for language and violence
> 
> The number of chapters is tentative! Also, I don't have a set update schedule lol sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a suicide attempt is mentioned but not explicitly described

Azula had been living in survival mode since the day her mother disappeared (she was 9).

She carefully crafted her cold exterior, the signature smirk and narrowed eyes hiding what she truly felt.

By 10, she had it perfected.

And then, the Agni Kai happened and Azula was on even higher alert than before. If her father could injure his only son, the Crown Prince, so easily, then what would it take for him to turn against her, the second child—and a daughter, no less? Yes, she was the favored child and a prodigy but she was still subject to the whim of the Fire Lord.

She bided her time, waiting until her father called on her to track down her brother and kill the Avatar. And she almost succeeded too. She let herself relax, if only a small amount. Her brother was back with the Fire Nation and the Avatar was (supposedly) dead. Victory in the Hundred Year War seemed inevitable.

She even allowed herself a small lapse of judgment and let Ty Lee kiss her on Ember Island.

_One time will be fine_ , she told herself. _It's not like it means anything anyway._

Until one day, that seemingly unbreakable exterior shattered.

As clear as day, she still remembered Mai's words at Boiling Rock.

"I love Zuko more than I fear you."

Then the look of surprise on Mai's face as Ty Lee saved her, accompanied by the pang of betrayal in Azula's heart.

_Why?_

Every emotion Azula had bottled up over the past five years came pouring out, and it ruined her.

Guilt, loss, anger, but most of all fear.

_Why does everybody leave me?_

In the end, she had nobody.

_Trust is for fools._

She had nobody when Zuko and Katara defeated her.

She had nobody when Zuko dragged her out of the institution to find their mother.

She had nobody when she escaped, finally free from the control of her brother and his friends.

She had nobody when she threw herself into the ocean, too tired to continue living.

She had nobody when she washed up on the shore in the Earth Kingdom colonies.

Now, at 21, survival mode was all she knew.


	2. Seven Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So several things: Azula reminds me of Catra for some reason so you might see some similarities throughout this fic.
> 
> Also Azula might seem a little out of character in this, but this is set seven years after the show.
> 
> There will be no past Tyzula (except for that one kiss) because at age 14 that would have been so toxic and I do not vibe with that

A carriage rolled past Azula’s hiding spot on the side of the road, towing a covered cart behind it. She adjusted her mask and secured her cloak. Along with the two seated at the front of the carriage, there were two more on ostrich horses on both sides of the cart. 

Whatever they were guarding had to be worth a lot, given the amount of muscle guarding it. 

She launched two fireballs into the road, one in front of the caravan and one behind, to block their escape route. 

“It’s the Kechibi!” one of the guards cried. The rest of them drew their weapons, looking around warily as one, a firebender, lit up his hand to see better. 

Azula landed on top of the carriage, twirling her swords. Skillfully dodging the fire and earth projectiles hurled her way, she swung down, dispatching the driver and passenger first before turning her attention to the guards outside the carriage. 

The two of them, one an earthbender, one a firebender, paled but still fought back, attempting to trap Azula before she could get to them, but it was to no avail. The earthbender was on the ground before he knew it and the firebender, eyes wide, turned to escape. 

“Help,” a weak voice called from the cart. Azula froze, letting the final bandit run off. She grabbed the keyring from off the driver and ran to the back of the cart, flinging open the covering. 

People. It was people they were transporting, not gold or weapons. Unfortunately, this was a sight Azula was too used to, but it still disgusted her every time. 

She tried a couple of keys from the keyring before giving up and breaking the lock with the hilt of her sword. Flinging the door open, she started trying keys again on the prisoners’ shackles. Thankfully, the first one did the trick this time. 

They stumbled out of the cart, disoriented and tired, but grateful. 

“Thank you,” one of them said. 

Azula ignored him, instead observing the spread of fire on both sides of the cart. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and pressed her hands down like she had just shot lightning. When she opened her eyes, the flames were extinguished. 

She swung around the side of the cart, removing the lantern from its place on the front and handing it to the man who thanked her. 

“Go,” she said, pointing towards the main road. 

He nodded wordlessly, too tired to do anything else. The rest followed him as he started down the road, flashing tired, thankful smiles. 

Maybe Zuko should worry less about her and more about the Fire Nation’s human trafficking problem. 

* * *

“Hey, Anzu!”

Azula waved back at the girl who greeted her as she walked through the village market, a gentle smile on her lips. It had been five years since she left the Fire Nation capital—and Zuko—for good, and about 6 months since she decided to stay in this village. 

She thought back to the first time after she left that someone asked her what her name was, blurting out the first former classmate’s name she could think of: “A-Anzu.” Since then, that was what she had been going by. 

With a small stash of money, she managed to stay in a modest house on the outskirts of the town, which was on a remote island in the eastern Fire Nation that no one really cared about. They were far enough out that they didn’t care too much about the royal family, something that brought Azula great relief. 

There was something incredibly freeing about knowing that none of these people knew who she really was, and it made her feel like she didn’t have to act like Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. Here she was just Anzu, a quiet girl who minded her own business and occasionally watched the local theater troupe’s performances. They brought her a sense of familiarity that wasn’t marred by pain and harsh memories. 

It had taken a while for Azula to relax, but she was less paranoid now, if only a little. No more constant looking over her shoulder and sleeping with a knife under her pillow. Now she enjoyed walks around the island, and there was a hidden cove she spent too much time at. 

Idle time was never something she had much of before, so now she savored every moment she could get. She had even taken up meditating, though she would die before admitting that to anybody. 

Not everything was good though. 

Azula still couldn’t bear to look in a mirror. Every day it seemed like she looked more and more like her mother. Even her reflection in a puddle in the street made her unreasonably angry. 

And no amount of anonymity would stop her constant nightmares and occasional panic attacks. Most of it was guilt, but the rest was pure anger. At last she understood what Zuko meant when he said he was angry at himself. 

“Hey, Anzu. Are you going to the festival next week?” a market vendor asked her, bringing her back to the present. She remembered his name was Yarun. 

“I hadn’t heard about it. What’s it for?” she replied as she inspected the vegetables in his stand.

“It’s the seven-year anniversary of Fire Lord Zuko’s coronation and the end of the Hundred Year War! Supposed to be a pretty big festival. I heard they’re even gonna pull out some fireworks for us.” 

Azula paused for a long moment. “Oh, right! I forgot about that. Silly me.” She forced a laugh and a smile, all teeth, no heart in it. “I might see you there then.”

She paid him for the vegetables, heart racing at the mention of her estranged brother. Yarun said something as she walked off, but she didn’t hear him over the pounding in her ears. 

Seven years. Had it really been seven years already? Seven years since Zuko and Katara defeated her on the day of her coronation. Seven years since she was institutionalized. Seven years since Mai and Ty Lee betrayed her. 

She walked mindlessly out of the town square, mumbling an apology when she bumped into someone. 

“Hey, Anzu, are you okay?” It was the girl from before, Eiko. 

“What? Yes, sorry. Just distracted,” Azula replied. 

“Do you need any help carrying anything?” Eiko responded with a smile.

“Uh, yeah sure. Here. Thanks.” Azula handed one of her baskets to Eiko and started walking with her towards her house. 

“Sooooo, whatcha thinking about? I hear the festival next week is supposed to be pretty cool.”

_Again with the stupid festival,_ Azula thought.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you weren’t a fan of festivals,” Eiko said softly.

Oh, shit. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m sure it’ll be great.” 

“Yeah.” 

They walked in silence for a few minutes. 

“So, do you just not like festivals in general, or is it this one specifically?” Eiko asked. 

“Festivals are fine, just . . . my father died in the war,” Azula lied. 

“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“It’s fine. But I probably won’t go.” 

“That makes sense. You’ll be missed though. You know, I’ve heard that Chu was planning on asking you out at the festival,” Eiko whispered with a smile. 

“Who’s that?” 

Eiko laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell him you’re not interested. Anyways, we’re here.” 

Azula paused. “Thank you. For helping . . . and for listening.” 

“Of course! We are friends, aren’t we?” 

“Right. Well.” They stood there for a few seconds, an awkward silence hanging in the air. 

“I guess I’ll head back now. See you around, Anzu!” With a wave and a smile, Eiko started off back towards the town square. 

Upon entering the house, Azula realized that Eiko was probably waiting to be invited in. She groaned, back against the door, and sank to the floor. Why was she so bad at being friendly?  
It was probably better that she didn’t invite Eiko in, she thought as she glanced at the kabuki mask on the table, one that had become locally renowned as a spirit that protected wayward children and travelers. 

Apparently, the vigilante gene runs strong in her family. 

Shaking her head lightly, she set the goods from the market down on the table and tossed the mask into the only other room in the house, her bedroom. 

Sitting down at the desk in front of the window, she took off her gloves and undid her arm braces, massaging the circulation back into her forearms. She looked down at the vertical scars along her wrists, running her fingers along them. She sighed and interlaced her fingers behind her neck, stretching her shoulders. She unrolled a piece of parchment, dipping a pen into an ink well, and started writing. 

_Dear Mai,_

_Today I was reminded that it’s been seven years since the end of the war, which means it has been five years since I last saw you._

Azula paused, throwing her head back and groaning. Her eyes traced the grooves in the ceiling as she thought of what else to write. 

* * *

Azula blew on the scroll to dry the ink, then rolled it up and tossed it in a bin underneath the desk, yet another letter to not send. Her time candle sparked 8 times, prompting her to look outside. Dark already? It had taken longer than she expected to write the letter, but that tracked with her tendency of not knowing what to say to Mai. 

She closed the curtains in front of the window and redid her arm braces, gloves and all. Maybe she could take the night off. After all, she had been out every night this week. 

Bandits don’t sleep, she reminded herself with a sigh. Not even on this tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Where there are people, there is crime. 

She donned her cloak and grabbed the mask, hiding it securely underneath. Finally, she retrieved the twin butterfly swords from underneath the floor in her closet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic so pls be nice but feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> The Kechibi is an actual thing in Japanese mythology, I didn't just make it up: here is a page on it if you want to know more :) it's essentially the Japanese version of a will-o'-the-wisp: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kechibi
> 
> For those who are curious/confused, this is a butterfly sword (The blade is about a foot long, so I thought it fit Azula's personality: short, sharp, and to the point): https://cdn3.volusion.com/ckv9e.ymqc3/v/vspfiles/photos/BJD-MD07-5Sifu-B-3.jpg?1542455609
> 
> also, this is the kabuki mask I envisioned while writing this chapter: http://davidmackguide.com/portfolio/kabuki/masks/images/kabuki-ebay.jpg


	3. Menace to Society

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bold text is Azula's mother speaking to her as a hallucination
> 
> CW: blood

Zuko turned to face Mai and Ty Lee, arms behind his back to hide his constant fidgeting. “There have been more reports of a ‘spirit’ using blue flames to assail bandits on the eastern islands.” 

“I’ve been updated. Is there a reason we’re doing this in the tea room, instead of, you know, the royal chambers?” Mai asked.

“Uncle’s coming. I need to ask his advice before I make any decisions.” Zuko smoothed out his robes. 

“Decisions like what?” Ty Lee inquired. 

“Like what to do about Azula,” Zuko snapped, drawing the attention of the others in the room. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just. . .”

“I get it,” Ty Lee said with a reassuring smile. 

“Where’s my favorite nephew?” a familiar voice boomed through the room. 

“Uncle!” Zuko greeted with a smile. 

They embraced tightly, having been apart for several months.

“Mai, Ty Lee, it’s lovely to see you again,” Iroh said, shaking both of their hands warmly. 

“You, too Iroh,” Ty Lee beamed, the arrival of Zuko’s uncle having cut the tension between the three of them. 

“Sit, sit. Let’s have some tea.” Iroh knelt at the table. 

They got comfortable as the server brought several cups and a pot of warm tea. 

“So, Zuko says you want to know what to do about Azula? Hmm.” He put a hand on his chin thoughtfully. “My first instinct would be to send an entire battalion to take her down, but maybe that’s just the soldier in me. Perhaps it might be best to simply leave her be.” 

“Like, leave her alone?” Ty Lee asked. 

“Yes.” Iroh nodded sagely. “Live and let live, as they say.” 

They sat silently, looking at the floor as they thought it over. 

“Of course, it’s a different matter if you actually want her to come home,” Iroh added. “From what I’ve heard, she’s helping people, which is more than she would do here.” 

He placed a comforting hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Do you remember what I told you all those years ago?”

“What, ‘she’s crazy and she needs to go down!’” Zuko imitated. 

Ty Lee giggled. “Zuko, that was terrible.” 

“Not your best,” Mai added.

Iroh chuckled. “Yes, I did say that. But that was a very stressful time for all of us, and Azula came out of the other end of the war with the least desirable outcome. If she’s doing good elsewhere, it might be insensible to drag her home after four years.” 

“She’s not doing good though. She’s killing people, even if they are criminals. And because they’re Fire Nation citizens, Zuko has a responsibility to stop her from hurting anyone else,” Mai said. 

“I understand. Sometimes the duties of the Fire Lord interfere with what we want for our loved ones.” Nudging Zuko in the side, Iroh added “I can see why you made this one your royal advisor.”

“It’s very reasonable advice, from both of you. Ty Lee, what do you think?” Zuko implored. 

Ty Lee sat, hugging her knees to her chest. “I’m not sure. On the one hand, I want Azula to be happy and do her own thing. But on the other, she’s hurting people. And I want to see her again.” 

Mai put a hand on Ty Lee’s shoulder, flashing a comforting smile. “We all do. Hopefully, she doesn’t try to kill us this time.” 

“That’s also a risk,” Iroh admitted. “Ultimately, it’s up to you, Lord Zuko.”

Zuko sighed. “Thank you all for your advice. I’ll think about it. Uncle, would you mind staying for a couple more days in case I want to talk about anything else?” 

“Of course, Zuko. It would be my pleasure.” 

* * *

"Hi, Zuko. You need me to find another girlfriend of yours?" June asked, hand on her hip.

"My sister, actually."

"You want me to find Princess Azula, Conqueror of Ba Sing Se, and overall menace to society?" June laughed. "You better make it worth my while."

"Of course."

"Hasn't she been missing for five years? Why now?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but we've heard some concerning reports from the eastern Fire Nation islands." 

"You got anything that smells like her?"

"Actually, no. As you said, she's been gone for five years. You're going to have to find her the old-fashioned way."

"Fine. But I'm expecting double." 

Zuko sighed. "That can be arranged." 

"Eastern islands, you said?" 

"Yes, Wan Ling and Chan-Shang. Send a hawk when you find her."

"Will do, Sir Fire Lord." 

* * *

Azula breathed heavily, holding her side as blood seeped through her fingers. Tonight's patrol hadn't gone very well, to say the least. Just when she thought she had dealt with all of the bandits, another came out of nowhere and slashed the left side of her torso. She had barely managed to make it back to her house before collapsing on the floor in the kitchen. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar figure approach. 

**Azula** , her mother chided, **this is what happens when you don't pay attention.**

"I don't need your help," Azula snarled as the vision of her mother approached with a towel and some bandages. 

**I'm just trying to help you.**

Too weak to resist, Azula warily let her mother put pressure on the wound, her breath catching in pain. 

**You need a doctor. Isn't there one in town?**

"You need to fuck off," Azula hissed as her mother pressed on the cut. 

**Azula, is that any way for a lady to talk?**

"Like you would know. You didn't teach me anything about being a lady." 

Azula's mother didn't reply, focusing on wrapping bandages around the wound. 

**This won't last. You need to go see someone.**

"It's the middle of the night." 

**Doctors are always prepared for emergencies.**

She was right, and Azula hated it. Growling, Azula ripped off the bandages, and from her shaking fingers flared a white-hot flame. She grabbed her side, pressing the wound closed as well as she could with white spots dancing across her vision in pain. 

Hands still shaking, she hesitated as she prepared to cauterize the wound. 

**Let me help.**

Her mother held the towel up for Azula to bite down on and gently grabbed her hand. Her steady hand guided Azula's shaking one as she burned the cut closed, cries of pain barely muffled by the towel. 

Azula dropped the towel from her mouth, panting and sweating like a dog on a hot summer day. She stayed like that until she worked up the strength to stand again. Shakily, she moved to a cabinet, pulling out a small tub of burn ointment that was almost empty. 

Hands still trembling, she sloppily applied the ointment to her torso, wincing as her fingers brushed over the still-raw wound. 

Suddenly lightheaded, she steadied herself against the sink. Turning the water on, she let it run for a few seconds before rinsing off her blood-stained hands.

"I don't need a doctor," Azula muttered.

There was no answer. Azula looked around at an empty room. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna update on wednesday . . . that did not happen. i hope you will accept this 1 am update with gratitude or at least understanding lol. the next chapter is like 99% done so it will be up soon!
> 
> CW: description of an injury, blood

The sun beat down on the town square, already high in the sky as Azula walked out of the doctor’s house with a new tub of ointment. 

She had spent most of the morning cleaning the blood off the floor of her kitchen. Moving gingerly to avoid aggravating her wound too much had been more difficult than she planned and it had taken longer than expected. She had rewrapped the bandages three times, each time seemingly worse than the last as her hands grew more and more unsteady. By the time she made it to the doctor, it was well past noon. 

Once she got there, there was the usual exchanging of casual lies. 

_-You don’t look so good, sweetie. Are you okay?_

_-I just haven’t been getting enough sleep._

_-Okay, well I hope the burn ointment isn’t for anything serious._

_-Just an accident while I was cooking. Don’t worry about it._

She flashed a fake smile at the doctor and paid her for the ointment, moving slowly out the door. 

It was a weekday so most people were on the docks or in the fields, though a couple were lingering in the square. It was something she had come to admire from the people she met over the past five years; no matter where she went, everyone toiled day in and day out to provide for themselves and their families. Well, mostly everyone. 

Suddenly lightheaded, Azula steadied herself against a post, rubbing her eye with one hand. 

She heard something clambering above her and her eyes snapped open, looking up at a massive shirshu on the roof across from her, its rider sporting a topknot secured with a skull insignia. Was she seeing things again? 

"Found you." 

A chill went up Azula's spine. Not a hallucination. "Who are you?" 

"Haven't you heard? Your brother wants you home." June smirked, snapping her whip. 

Azula dropped the container, narrowing her eyes as she searched for a way out. In her current condition, there was no way she could escape a shirshu unscathed. 

It was over quickly. 

The shirshu leaped forward, tongue lashing out. Azula rolled and narrowly avoided it, moving sluggishly with pain. 

June snapped her whip once again, swinging it towards her. It wrapped around her wrist, but the smirk was quickly wiped off June’s face when Azula sent a surge of electricity through the leather. June fell off the shirshu, temporarily paralyzed. 

The small glimmer of satisfaction Azula felt was cut off by the shirshu lashing its tongue at her, hitting her in the side. 

She fell to the ground, parallel to June’s prone body. 

"He's already coming," June said with a smirk, despite being immobilized. "I sent him a hawk this morning. He should be here soon." 

Azula’s heart sank. Head heavy against the stone floor, she was overwhelmed at the thought of seeing Zuko again. It was too late to do anything, she figured. Resigning herself to her fate, her eyes closed, a single tear trickling down her face. 

* * *

Mai looked out the window, observing the changing scenery as the airship powered through the sky. There wasn't much to see because they were above the cloud layer, but it was better than staring at the wall of her room for the next couple of hours. 

Earlier, she had yelled at Zuko for sending June after Azula without telling her, but she had to admit that it was a good idea. And it ended up working, so she couldn't really complain. 

Still, Mai doubted the whole situation, wrestling with the two parts of her that remained conflicted when it came to Azula. What Iroh said resonated with her: maybe it would be best to leave her alone after all this time. What good would dredging up the past do for anybody? 

And she would be lying if there wasn’t a little bit of jealousy too, about Ty Lee. 

She was definitely wary, but she also wanted to fix things. Five years was a long time, and it was foolish to deny that Azula had to come home sooner or later. She leaned against the wall and stared out the window solemnly, arms crossed. It wasn’t like there was any use debating it now anyway. She was going to see Azula soon, whether she liked it or not. 

As if on cue, Ty Lee came up behind Mai, sliding her arms around her stomach. "Hey. What's wrong?" 

"Do you even need to ask?" Mai said, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the constant drone of the airship. 

Ty Lee hummed in acknowledgment, resting her chin on Mai’s shoulder. Mai sighed, resting her hands on Ty Lee's. They watched the clouds pass by under them in silence, nothing to do but wait. 

"I don't know if I'm ready to see her again," Mai said finally. 

"I'm sure she feels the same way. It seems like she wants nothing to do with us." 

Mai was silent for a moment, leaning into Ty Lee. “Do you think we made the right decision?” 

Ty Lee kissed her ear lightly. “She was going to come home sooner or later. It just turned out to be later, even if that later came sooner than we realized. Does that make sense?”

Mai nodded absentmindedly. "I can't believe it's been five years. It seems like we were hunting Aang with her just yesterday." 

"That was a long time ago. We've all changed." There was a hint of quiet bitterness in Ty Lee’s usually cheerful voice. 

"Hey." Suki approached from the side, a wary smile on her face. "We'll be there in a couple of hours, just to let you know." 

"Thanks, Suki." Ty Lee smiled. 

Suki paused, thinking of a way to take their minds off everything. "Do you want to play Pai Sho until we get there? I’ll even let you beat me.” 

“ _Let_ me beat you? In your dreams,” Mai scoffed, troubles temporarily banished by the challenge. 

Ty Lee giggled as Mai pulled her after Suki, not letting go of her hand all the way to the game room. 

* * *

Azula was lying on a couch in the mayor’s house, half unconscious. Eiko was sitting on the floor next to her, loosely clutching her hand. 

_She’s the mayor’s daughter_ , Azula remembered hazily. 

The doctor had treated and rewrapped her stomach, easing some of the discomfort from her wound. However, the pain had been overwhelming while the doctor was redoing the bandages, prompting Azula to squeeze Eiko’s hand tightly. Afterward, neither of them wanted to let go, or Azula was too tired to pull away and Eiko didn’t want to leave her alone. 

“Is the Fire Lord really coming?” Azula asked suddenly, her voice raspy. 

Eiko nodded, looking up at Azula. “We got a messenger hawk half an hour ago. He should be here in an hour.” 

Azula nodded shakily and her breathing slightly intensified. 

"You're. . ." Eiko hesitated. "You're Princess Azula, aren't you?"

Azula kept her gaze locked on the ceiling. "Yes."

"Oh, okay."

Azula sighed. "Are you scared of me now?"

Eiko shook her head. "No, of course not! I've heard . . . stories about you, but since I've known you, you haven't done anything bad. We're friends, right? You wouldn't hurt one of your friends."

"Hurting my friends is how I got into this predicament, actually." 

Eiko's smile faded quickly. 

"Oh."

They were both silent for a moment. 

"You know, a lot of people don't blame you for the things you did during the war," Eiko started hesitantly. "You were just a teenager, and your dad was . . . Sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up." 

"Don't worry about it. I lied earlier when I said he was dead. I just wish he were." Azula paused. "Do you mean it? You're not just trying to make me feel better?" 

"Yeah. I mean, a lot of people were manipulated by Fire Lord Ozai, so they get how it feels. And you probably got it the worst, being so close to him and all." 

Tears welled up in Azula's eyes. "I did terrible things." Her voice broke. 

"So did a lot of people. We were led to believe that what the Fire Nation was doing was the right thing for the world, when we were the ones destroying it. People do things during wartime they would never normally do. Even you." 

"I wish my brother felt the same way you did. Now I'm just a fugitive with a bounty on her head." 

Eiko smiled softly. "You know the bulletin board in the town square?"

"Yes?" Azula replied, confused as to where this was going. 

"There used to be wanted posters of you on it every week. My dad took one look at you when you came to town and took them all down. And he's an excellent judge of character." 

"Why would he do that for me?"

"Because you deserve to live a somewhat normal life, not one where you're being hunted constantly. This is a safe place for you. Well, not so much anymore I guess. But we tried to make it one." 

"So, everybody knew who I really was?"

"We didn’t really talk about it, but . . . yeah."

"And they still let me stay?" 

"You've brought nothing but hope here. . . Kechibi," Eiko added, lightly teasing Azula for her vigilante pursuits. 

"So you know about that too." It wasn't a question. 

"Well, blue flames. . . it wasn't hard to put two and two together. The people love you. The Fire Lord will have to pry you from our cold, dead hands," she said dramatically, cutting herself off with a small laugh. 

"Don't do that for me." Azula looked away. 

Eiko didn’t know what to say and settled for silently squeezing her hand, rubbing her thumb over the back. Breathing shakily, Azula let her eyes close, drifting into a shallow sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't really expect this to get that much attention so every time i get an email saying "you've got kudos!" or "someone left a comment on your work" it makes me so happy 😭 you guys are incredible
> 
> as always, kudos and comments give me serotonin!


	5. Halfway to Freedom

Too soon, Azula was shaken awake. 

“Azula,” Eiko said. The name sounded foreign on her tongue, unfamiliar to Azula’s ears. “Fire Lord Zuko is here. Can you get up?” 

Azula opened her eyes, sitting up slowly. The pain in her stomach had faded to a dull ache so she stood, holding onto Eiko for support. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can- we can tell him you ran away or something,” Eiko said. “You can hide in the basement.” 

“No. I have to face my past eventually,” Azula said, pausing. “I appreciate the offer.” 

They made their way outside to the square, confronted by Zuko in full Fire Lord regalia. Mai and Ty Lee stood on either side of him, and behind them were a group of Kyoshi Warriors and Imperial Firebenders. People peered out from doorways and alleyways, unaccustomed to a visit from royalty for any reason. 

Azula made eye contact with Zuko and her entire demeanor changed. Shaking off Eiko like it was nothing, she stood tall and her face hardened. Despite her pale, tired face, she adopted a familiar look of antipathy with ease. 

"Hello, brother," Azula said drily, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Mai and Ty Lee. "Long time no see." 

"Azula," Zuko responded cordially. 

"Alright, then. Take me away." Sounding almost bored, Azula held up her arms, wrists together. 

"That's it? You're just going to come with me?" Zuko was visibly confused. 

"It's not like I have anything better to do. Besides, I'm not going to attack you on National Siblings Day. That would be rude." 

"Uh, okay?" Zuko motioned to one of the guards, who approached with a pair of cuffs. 

"Dad, do the thing." Eiko nudged her father. 

"Oh, right! Fire Lord Zuko, as the mayor of this town, I hereby petition you for the release of Princess Azula of the Fire Nation," the mayor stated with a casual smile. 

"Excuse me, what?" Zuko turned to Mai, an incredulous look on his face. "Can he do that?" 

"Any elected or appointed official can petition you for something on behalf of their citizens. Which you should know, as Fire Lord." Mai added the last part as a whisper. "Of course, it's up to you whether or not you want to listen." 

"I second the petition!" Eiko said cheerfully. 

A crowd had gathered behind Zuko and company, making them nervous. 

"Me too!" said a man from the square. "Princess Azula saved me and my kids from bandits. I owe her my life." 

Not that she would admit it after that act of goodwill, but Azula didn't remember that incident specifically. 

"Me too!" called another voice from the crowd. 

"Yeah, let her go!" 

A cacophony of voice rose from the crowd, all demanding Zuko release Azula. 

"Stop!" Zuko shouted. "That's enough!" 

The crowd quieted as he paused, unsure of what to do and very confused by this outpouring of goodwill for his little sister. 

"I can't just let her go," Zuko said quietly to Ty Lee and Mai. 

"Technically you could grant her a royal pardon," Ty Lee whispered. 

"It's fine. I'll go with you. Just leave them alone," Azula broke in. 

Zuko hesitated and turned towards the mayor. "Your petition is hereby denied." 

The crowd erupted in anger, someone even going so far as to throw a rock at Zuko's head, which one of his guards swiftly blocked. 

"Enough!" 

Once more, the crowd quieted and all eyes were on Azula. She took a deep, measured breath. 

"That's enough," she repeated, quieter this time. "Thank you for your hospitality while I was here, and I'm sorry for lying to you." 

"Did she just say thank you AND apologize in the same sentence?" Ty Lee whispered to Mai. 

"Oh, no worries!" The mayor grinned sheepishly. "We kind of already knew. You're a very distinctive person." 

He turned toward Zuko. "Uh, sorry, Mr. Fire Lord, sir. We figured she wasn't doing anything wrong, so we let her stay." 

"It's alright. Thank you for taking care of her." Zuko smiled. "If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to contact me." 

"Just one thing, Zuko," Azula said as a guard drew closer with the cuffs. 

"Yes?" 

"National Siblings Day is tomorrow." 

Zuko's eye widened, reacting a split second too late as Azula grabbed the cuffs from the guard and swung them into his helmet. The guard dropped like a sack of rocks. 

“That makes more sense,” Mai sighed, pulling out several knives. 

Azula sprung into action, flinging a pair of fire discs towards the Kyoshi Warriors. She slipped past Zuko in the ensuing chaos, narrowly avoiding Ty Lee’s fists as she jumped onto the fountain in the center of the square. She jumped, grabbing onto a roof, and clambering up. Mai and Ty Lee quickly followed her, landing on opposite sides of her. 

They paused, the tension in the air palpable. 

Azula lunged forward, grabbing Mai by the collar and pressing a knife against her throat. 

"Miss me?" Azula asked with a smirk, drawing a thin line of blood across her neck. 

She pushed Mai backward and kicked her into an approaching Ty Lee. Hearing a crack as they collided, Azula paused for a split second and turned slightly to look back at them. 

"Mai!" Zuko called, snapping her back.

Azula slid down the roof on the other side, landing with a grunt and stumbling a few steps, still weak from the wound in her side. 

One of the townspeople cleared his throat loudly, drawing Azula's attention. "Uh oh! My ostrich horse got loose. It sure would be a _shame_ if someone _stole_ it."

He made eye contact, winking slyly. 

"Thank you," Azula whispered as she ran past him and vaulted onto his ostrich horse. 

She shot a blast of white fire behind her, intended to blind more than anything. Vaguely, she heard someone call for mongoose lizards. 

Every step the ostrich horse took jarred her injury, sending pain lancing through her side. She steered it towards the coast with feeble hands, feeling the cut rip open more and more with each jolt. 

Slipping in and out of consciousness, she barely managed to stay on the horse but made it to the coast. She snapped awake and pulled the horse to a stop, sliding off with a grunt. 

Azula quickly pulled her outer shirt over her head, tying it onto the ostrich horse’s saddle with the hope that the scent would get the mongoose lizards off her trail. She zapped the ostrich horse on the rear, sending it running off. 

Moving to the coast, she looked down at the ocean, the waves crashing against the base of the cliff violently. Barely visible (if you didn’t know what to look for) was a hidden cove, complete with a small beach. Scrambling down the cliff, she fell down on the sand below, splashing her feet in the ocean. She ran to the back of the cave to a partly hidden pool of water, quickly submerging herself in it. 

She stayed still, only moving enough to keep her head above water as she listened intently for any sounds. 

"Down here!" she heard someone call, followed by the sound of people clambering down the rock side. 

_Fuck_. She had forgotten to cover her footprints.

Taking a deep breath, she put her head under the water, now completely submerged. Feeling around in the dark, she slipped through a tunnel towards the bottom of the pool, something she had discovered purely by accident a couple of months ago. 

Her hands scraped against the jagged rocky walls as she clambered through the tunnel, relying on touch and memory alone. 

Fumbling into a pocket of air, she came up to breathe, gasping greedily. If she remembered correctly, this marked halfway until the tunnel opened up into another nearby cave. 

Pausing just long enough to catch her breath, she dove back down into the tunnel, steadily making her way to the end. The edge of her vision was flashing red and her lungs burned, but she made it to the end, bursting out of the water. Heaving herself onto the sand, she collapsed onto the floor of the cave, still half-submerged as she panted heavily. 

But she had made it. A small glimmer of satisfaction arose, only to be disrupted by sudden agony shooting out from her stomach. 

Then, the current of the water changed, pulling her body back inside the tunnel. Azula grasped desperately at the sand, but it fell through her fingers easily. Managing to take one breath, she was ripped from the cave and back into the tunnel. 

Zipping through the tunnel, she tried to angle her body so the rough walls wouldn’t grate against her body, but she still received several gashes. 

She shot out onto the cove, coughing hoarsely as well as she could with sand digging into the raw wounds on her body and making her want to gasp in pain. Rolling onto her side, she caught a glimpse of familiar blue clothing and those ridiculous hair loops that somehow passed for fashion. 

Fucking waterbenders. 

Shakily, Azula rose to her knees, clutching her side. The water had soaked through the bandages, leaving nowhere for the blood to go but out. She cursed the universe; three days ago she would have been more than able to fend them off, at least long enough to escape. 

One hand on the ground for support, she looked up at Zuko, pure anger surrounding her. She stood, steam rising into the air as she dried herself. 

The Kyoshi Warriors, along with Katara, got into fighting stances, eyes narrowed at Azula. 

"Oh, lovely. An entourage. Just"—she held up one finger, panting as she tried to catch her breath—"give me one second before you started attacking me. I'm on the verge of death here." 

Surprisingly, they waited, looking to Zuko for a signal. 

Azula ripped off her arm braces, wincing at the pain the movement caused in all parts of her body. Slowly, she unwrapped the bandages that were under the coverings, tying them sloppily around her upper arms and shoulders, which had received the brunt of the damage from the tunnel. 

"Azula, come with us peacefully and we can help you," Zuko said firmly. 

“Hang on.” She lifted her shirt, holding it up with her teeth. Tucking a thumb under her bandages, she peeked underneath them with a look of disgust. The bandages were upholding poorly but weren't entirely useless due to her drying them, so she left them where they were. 

“Azula-” Zuko started.

"Believe me when I say I would rather die," Azula cut him off, dropping the shirt from her mouth. "I'm already halfway there. Maybe a little more." 

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Zuko asked angrily. 

"Wouldn't be the first time I tried," Azula replied with an easy smile. "Alright. Ready to rumble?" 

Survival mode kicked in, and without waiting for a response, she sent a blast of fire towards the nearest Kyoshi Warrior. 

Her body moved on autopilot, dodging attacks as best she could with a debilitating injury and firing back with as much precision as she could, seeing several versions of everybody. 

The waterbender girl was the biggest threat, Azula ascertained, so she put a Kyoshi Warrior in between them every chance she got, severely limiting her chances to attack. 

Zuko yelled something she couldn't make out, causing her to glance over momentarily. 

Her gaze slid passively from him to a spot over his shoulder as he said something else. 

**Azula, what have you gotten yourself into?** her mother tsked in a reprimanding manner. 

Azula narrowed her eyes, seeing several of both her mother and Zuko. 

"Leave me _alone_!" 

Lunging forward, she tried to fire with her left hand, only to be chi-blocked on the left side by someone who grabbed her before she fell to the ground. Clenching her jaw in anger, she brought her other hand around swiftly, blue fire trailing behind. 

She stopped her hand two inches from Ty Lee's face, letting the fire dissipate. 

_Why are you here?_

"Hi, Azula," Ty Lee said softly, her face less than a foot from Azula's. "Long time no see." 

_Are you really here?_

Ty Lee shifted her hands around Azula's waist, unknowingly pressing on the reopened wound in her side. Seeing stars, Azula's eyes rolled back into her head as she collapsed into Ty Lee's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎶 reunited and it feels so good 🎶
> 
> edit: i forgot to mention this earlier but i have to apply to college 😔 so there probably won't be an update for at least a week sorry :(


	6. Chapter 6

The rumbling of the airship was constant and never failed to give Ty Lee a headache. Given a choice, she would always choose to travel by ship, even if it took twice as long. 

She was in the infirmary, sitting between Mai and Azula, who were both sleeping, though Azula was secured to the bed. 

Ty Lee rubbed her thumb over Azula’s bandaged hand, the handcuffs clinking lightly. 

Azula was passed out from her wounds. Katara had said that she had a lot of past injuries that hadn’t healed properly, and the new one hadn’t helped anything. Especially with Azula’s treatment of it, or lack thereof. 

Almost her entire body was covered in bandages, and Ty Lee hated to think about what was underneath, both past and present injuries. 

She looked pale and tired, but peaceful. More than anything, she looked weak. 

She would hate that, Ty Lee thought. Azula had always been obsessed with appearing strong, even when she wasn’t. 

The bandages on her fingers sparked a memory in her, one that she had tried to ignore for the past year. 

_**[FLASHBACK, 1 YEAR AGO]** _

Ty Lee hurried through the dock, rain pouring down the way it did every spring in the southern islands of the Fire Nation. 

She had convinced the sailors to let her stop here on the way to Kyoshi Island, making up some excuse that they bought begrudgingly when she batted her eyelashes at them. 

The island was small, so small that it often wasn’t featured on maps of the Fire Nation, which would make it the perfect place for a fugitive to hide. Ty Lee had found it by following a trail of letters and reports of sightings that were sketchy at best. Exhausting every lead had exhausted her to the point of almost giving up, until she heard about someone in the south that matched Azula’s description. 

It was a long shot, but she couldn’t bring herself to pass up the opportunity. Not if it meant seeing Azula again. 

She had spent the past couple of hours knocking on doors and desperately holding up a poster of Azula. Most of the answers she got were the door slamming in her face. It probably didn’t help that it was getting late, the sky quickly fading into darkness. 

The stands at the market on the docks were closing, the only ones left open frequented by shady figures that she did not want to approach. 

She was almost about to head back to the ship for the night when sudden movement in her peripheral vision caught her eye. A hooded figure walked down the street, slipping behind a market stand. 

Some unexplainable instinct scratched at the back of her mind and she followed, turning into the alleyway. 

“Excuse me!” Ty Lee called, chasing after the cloaked figure. 

They paused in the alley, partly turning back before dashing off. 

“Really?” Ty Lee asked in exasperation, running after them. 

She rounded the corner and the figure was gone. Sighing, she leaned her shoulder against the wall. 

A hand reached out behind her, turning her body and slamming her back into the wall, something she was woefully unprepared for. 

Azula's hand was around her throat and her other hand, in a fist, was approaching her face quickly. 

"Azula," Ty Lee breathed. 

At the last second, Azula shifted her hand and slammed it into the wall beside Ty Lee's head. 

"Damn it, Ty Lee." Azula pulled back, shaking her hand out. "What are you doing here?"

Ty Lee couldn't believe it. After four years, Azula was actually in front of her. Her body was formless underneath the cloak but she was taller and there was a deep mistrust in her eyes, present even as she turned away from Ty Lee. 

"Are you just going to gawk or are you going to answer my question?" Azula asked impatiently, arms crossed. 

"S-sorry. It's just been so long." 

"Not long enough, if you ask me." 

"Azula," Ty Lee repeated softly, the heartbreak evident in her voice. 

Azula hesitated, a hint of regret in her demeanor. 

"Sorry," she mumbled, looking at the ground. 

Ty Lee sneezed. 

"How long have you been out in the rain?" Azula asked, a hint of exasperation in her voice. 

"Uh." Ty Lee looked up and counted on her fingers. "About three hours." 

Azula sighed. "Come on. You're going to catch a cold at this rate." 

She turned and started walking away, pulling her hood over her head in a feeble attempt to protect herself from the rain. 

Ty Lee was stunned at the show of concern, an atypical act for Azula. 

"Hurry up." That was more like it. 

Ty Lee hurried after Azula, sniffling a little as she fell into step beside her. She didn't know what to expect, never letting Azula out of her peripheral vision. Azula did the same, so they walked parallel to each other, neither one of them letting the other get too far ahead or behind. 

They walked in silence, rain pouring down on them. Turning a corner, they reached a quaint cottage, partly hidden behind a line of trees. Azula unlocked the door, holding it open for Ty Lee. 

"Thanks." 

Azula didn't respond, walking in after her. She took off her cloak and hung it on a coat rack by a small wood stove. 

"This is nice. Is it yours?" 

"I'm renting. The landlord doesn't ask questions." Azula held out her hand, to Ty Lee's confusion. "Give me your cloak. It's soaking wet." 

"Oh, thanks." Ty Lee handed over her cloak. 

She sat in silence on the only chair in the room, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as Azula started a fire in the woodstove. 

"Would you like some tea?" Azula asked, putting a kettle on the stovetop. 

"Yes, please." 

Even now, Ty Lee couldn't read her. Her composure was neutral and there was nothing to suggest at the long, complicated history between them besides the lingering awkwardness hanging in the air. 

"I'll be right back." 

Azula exited the room, leaving Ty Lee at a loss for words. The sound of the rain combined with the crackle of the fire, creating a calming ambience in the background. She looked around the sparsely decorated room, the only furniture being the chair she was currently sitting on, the wood stove, and a pair of cushions leaning against the wall. 

Azula walked back in, wearing different clothes. Her hair was loose and fell to her waist, longer than Ty Lee remembered. Instinctually, Ty Lee looked her up and down, blushing and looking away as soon as she realized what she was doing. 

"Here." Azula tossed a change of clothes onto Ty Lee's lap. "You can change in there if you want." 

"Thanks." Ty Lee paused. "Your hair's really long. It looks nice." 

"I haven't cut it in a while." 

Ty Lee waited for Azula to say something else. She didn't. 

Dejected, she went into the other room, finding it to be Azula's bedroom. She quickly slipped out her wet clothes and put on the ones Azula gave her, grateful for a set of warm clothing. Azula even gave her a pair of socks, something that almost made Ty Lee misty-eyed. 

Finished changing, she looked around the room, lit up by a variety of candles. The futon was neatly made, blankets tucked under the sides tightly. This room was almost as spare as the other, except for the mirrored dresser, covered by a dark cloth, in one corner that had various items strewn across the top. 

Ty Lee wandered around the room, running her fingers over numerous things as her mind raced with questions. Lost in thought, she jumped slightly at a knock on the door. 

"Tea's ready." 

When Ty Lee came out, Azula was sitting on one of the cushions, painstakingly focused on wrapping her fingers with bandages. 

Two cups of tea were sitting in front of her, steam wisping from the surface. 

Ty Lee set her wet clothes in front of the stove to dry, next to Azula's, choosing to sit on the cushion next to Azula instead of the chair. 

"Let me help." 

Azula looked up at her, uncertainty on her face. 

"Come on." Ty Lee reached out and gently took Azula's hand in her own. 

Surprisingly, Azula let her, wincing a little as Ty Lee stretched out her fingers. 

"I'm sorry," Ty Lee said upon seeing the purple on her knuckles, bruising from when she had slammed her fist into the wall earlier. 

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault." Azula sounded resigned, even tired, but Ty Lee could tell she meant what she said. 

Ty Lee hummed absentmindedly, focusing on wrapping Azula's fingers. They sat in silence for several minutes as she carefully weaved the bandages over Azula's hand, securing them in a way that wasn't too tight. 

"All done." 

Azula inspected her hand carefully and, wiggling her fingers, found nothing to complain about. 

"Thanks." 

"I always forget that you're left-handed," Ty Lee said with a small smile. 

"It's not exactly one of the most memorable things about me." 

"I guess not." Ty Lee settled onto the cushion, reaching for a cup. "Oh! I forgot." 

She stood up and reached into her cloak, pulling something out of an inner pocket. 

"I got you something." 

She handed Azula a pair of silver arm cuffs, adorned with a gold inlay that depicted a dragon and a phoenix facing each other, separated by the sun. 

"These look expensive," was the first thing Azula said. 

Ty Lee looked taken aback. "Oh, I mean, they were, but . . . I thought you would like them. Especially since I haven't given you anything for your birthday for a while." 

"My birthday?" 

"Yeah. I know it's in a couple of months but I- I didn't know when I would see you again." Ty Lee looked away bashfully. 

A flurry of emotions overwhelmed Azula. Of course Ty Lee, in all her goodwill and infinite capacity to find second chances in people, would bring her a pair of cuffs as a gift rather than as a means of imprisonment. 

"Thank you. They're beautiful." 

"Yeah, and they're adjustable, so don't worry about them not fitting." Ty Lee sat back down on the cushion, obviously more relaxed than before. "And you could wear them both or just one at a time. I know you don't wear short sleeves very often, but when it gets warmer maybe you could try them out." 

She beamed at Azula, glad that she had accepted the gift without any complaint. 

"Thank you," Azula repeated quietly, unsure of what else she could say. 

"Of course!" Ty Lee’s gaze drifted up to the streak of gray hair that was currently tucked behind Azula’s ear. 

Azula looked away uncomfortably, so Ty Lee didn’t ask about it, instead reaching for a cup and blowing on it for a couple seconds before taking a small sip. "This is cold." 

Azula held out her hand wordlessly, warming the tea slightly with her hand. She did the same thing to her own. 

"Thanks." 

Azula nodded, tucking a knee underneath her chin. 

The rain drummed against the roof and the fire in the wood stove crackled, cutting through the stillness of the air. 

They sat, drinking their tea and warily enjoying each other's company. Silence was never something Ty Lee was good at, but it came to her easily in this moment. 

"How's Mai?" Azula asked, breaking the silence after a while. 

Ty Lee lit up. 

"She's good! Zuko made her a royal advisor a couple years ago and she loves it. Her brother's growing up too. I think he's 8 now? She's been bonding with the Kyoshi Warriors, which makes me really happy." She relaxed, looking over at Azula. "She would really like to see you." 

"I doubt that." There was no malice in Azula's voice, simply understanding. 

"Azula, she would," Ty Lee assured gently. "It's been four years. People are moving on." 

"If people were really moving on, there wouldn't still be a bounty on my head." 

"Maybe, if they could see this side of you, there wouldn't be anymore." Ty Lee leaned back, realizing that she had pressed too hard. 

"I'm not going back with you. There's nothing left for me there." _Not even you._

Azula stood up, an air of finality around her. "It's getting late. I should be getting to sleep." 

"Oh, okay. I-" Ty Lee hesitated, unsure of where that left her. 

Azula moved to the window, pulling back the curtain to see the rain, still coming down hard. 

"You can stay until morning. It's still raining pretty hard outside. I'll take this room." 

"Oh, that's okay, you don't have to do that." 

"Ty Lee," Azula sighed, "It's fine. Take the bedroom." 

"Okay. Thank you." 

Against her better judgement, Ty Lee grabbed Azula suddenly, embracing her in a tight hug. Azula stiffened, utilizing all of her self-control to restrain herself from throwing Ty Lee to the floor. After a few seconds, she relaxed, hesitantly wrapping her arms around Ty Lee. 

"It's really good to see you," Ty Lee said, fighting back tears. "I thought I would never see you again." 

"It's good to see you too," Azula replied after a moment of tenuous silence. "I haven't really talked to someone in a long time." 

They stayed holding each other, trying to make up for four lost years in one embrace. 

Azula pulled away reluctantly, taking a few steps back. Affection made her visibly uncomfortable. 

Suddenly, she looked up—yes, _up_ —at Ty Lee. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, is it because I'm taller than you now? The summer after you left, I grew four inches. Mai doesn't like it either," Ty Lee said with a triumphant grin. 

Azula paused at the thought that she was now the shortest out of the three of them. 

“Lovely,” she said drily. Ty Lee caught a hint of quiet amusement in her voice. 

Azula yawned, hiding her face behind one hand. “Do you need anything before I go to bed?” 

“Where’s your bathroom?” Ty Lee asked, suddenly painfully aware of the pressure on her bladder. 

“Out the back. There’s an extra cloak in the closet you can borrow.” 

Ty Lee’s heart sang at the offer, said so easily. “Thanks!” 

She dashed off and Azula smiled, running a hand through her hair tiredly. Stretching as she walked into her bedroom, she grabbed a pillow and blanket out of the closet and took them to the other room. 

When Ty Lee came back, Azula was lying on the floor in her makeshift bed, hands behind her head as she stared at the ceiling. 

"There are more blankets in the closet if you get cold," she said. 

"Thanks. And thanks for letting me stay." 

Azula nodded silently. 

"Goodnight, Azula." Ty Lee hesitated, wanting to say something else but unsure of what. 

"Goodnight." 

With a final smile, Ty Lee slid the bedroom door closed. Half of her wanted to stay, but the other half was surprised Azula was letting her sleep over at all. 

She flopped onto the futon, burying her face in the pillow, a ridiculous smile on her face. 

_She didn’t try to kill me!_ she thought, among other things. 

She crawled under the covers, letting out a content sigh. Sleep came easily to her that night, much easier than the next morning did. 

...

When Ty Lee woke up, Azula was gone. There was only a note next to the bed, reading "I can't go back." 

Her heart sank and she broke down, crying on the floor of the tiny house she had shared with Azula for a single night. 

After a while, she automatically gathered her things, heading back to the ship wearily. A day later, she arrived at Kyoshi Island, where she was supposed to be helping Suki recruit new members. 

She wasn’t very helpful. 

When she got home a week later, she told Mai everything and cried for a week. 

_**[PRESENT]** _

Ty Lee’s eyes watered at the memory, her gaze haphazardly drifting to the pair of cuffs on the table next to Azula. 

“Take these!” Eiko had said urgently when they were heading back to the airship. “She wears them all the time. I’m sure she would hate to leave them behind.” 

Despite everything, she wiped her tears and smiled. Maybe there was a part of Azula that was ready to come back. 

Behind her, Mai stirred, groaning slightly. 

“Hi!” Ty Lee said, smiling at the sight of Mai awake. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I got kicked in the ribs,” she deadpanned. 

“Yeah.” Ty Lee pulled Mai’s face to hers for a gentle kiss. “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

“Me too.” Mai glanced over at Azula, visibly uncomfortable. “Do I really have to be in here with her?” 

“The airship only has one infirmary, so yeah. We’ll be home soon though.” 

“It can’t come soon enough.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update! i've been pretty busy with school and such :/
> 
> let me know what you think of this chapter! :)


	7. Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you haven't read the search comics, (spoilers btw) zuko and azula find their mother but azula, who has been hallucinating her the entire time, attacks her and then runs off into the forest (which i referenced in the first chapter). zuko brings ursa back to the fire nation capital with her new husband and daughter, kiyi
> 
> TW: they talk about suicide in this chapter

Azula opened her eyes and it was completely dark. She tried to reach her hand up to feel if there was something covering her eyes but was stopped by metal restraints chaining her to the bed. 

Something rustled in the room and her eyebrows furrowed. She yanked roughly at the shackles. 

She tried to speak and became aware of the metal barrier covering her mouth, presumably to prevent her from breathing fire. 

Overwhelming fear clouded her mind and she struggled against the shackles. 

"Hey!" someone yelled and she flinched at the sudden voice. 

A few carefully placed jabs later and her body was limp. 

Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe against the metal, tears involuntarily flowing from her unseeing eyes. She squeezed them closed tightly, blinking several times but was still met with darkness. 

Someone gently grabbed her hand and she zapped them away. 

"Ow! It's me." _Zuko_. 

She relaxed and opened her hand, inviting him to hold it again. He did, hesitantly this time. Gripping his hand with white knuckles, she jerked loosely at the restraints. 

"What's wrong?" 

Azula narrowed her eyes, unfocused but glaring in the general direction of his voice. 

"Oh, right." He paused. 

"Zuko, what are you doing?" a female voice asked. 

He didn't answer, reaching his hands around the back of Azula's head and unclasping the metal mouthpiece. 

"Zuko, I can't see," she choked out once he pulled it away. 

“You what?” 

“Don’t listen to her. She’s probably lying.” The voice was somewhat familiar but she couldn’t quite place it. 

“She’s not lying,” Zuko said quietly, clasping her hand between his own. “Can someone please get the doctor?” 

There was a slight pause followed by the sound of movement. Azula’s breathing slowed but was still shaky. 

Footsteps approached and she felt a presence on the side of the bed opposite Zuko. 

“I’m gonna check your eyes, is that okay?” 

Azula nodded, squeezing Zuko’s hand even tighter. He squeezed back reassuringly as the doctor gently examined her eyes, prying her eyelids open further. 

“Hm.” 

“That doesn’t sound good,” Zuko said, his voice laced with concern. 

“I’ve heard of a few cases like this. It’s probably a symptom of the extreme physical and mental stress she’s faced over the past few days. It should resolve itself as soon as her body feels that it isn’t in danger anymore. I would recommend that you remove the restraints, but it’s up to you.” 

“Zuko-”

“Let me think, please.” 

“Are you really considering this? She just tried to kill you.” 

He was silent, slowly stroking his thumb over Azula’s now-limp hand. 

“What do you think?” He nudged her slightly. 

“Why would you take advice from the person you’re discussing?” Azula said hoarsely. 

“That’s a great question, Zuko.” 

“Okay, get out. All of you.” There was a hint of quiet anger in his voice, a sudden change from his gentle tone just a few seconds ago. 

The room was silent. 

“And leave you alone with her?” 

“I can’t make a decision with you talking in my ear all the time. Please leave.” 

“Fine.” 

Azula heard a huff and footsteps retreated angrily out of the room. 

“You would be a fool to unchain me,” she said after a few seconds of silence. 

“That’s what I thought,” he said with a sigh. “But are you really in any shape to attack people?” 

“If I were you, I wouldn’t give me the chance.” 

“I’m not you though.” 

He pulled away, letting go of her hand. Her fingers unconsciously stretched out, missing the touch that grounded her. 

Moments later, he returned, carefully unlocking the shackles on her left hand and her legs. 

“I’m gonna keep one on.” 

“Understandable,” she muttered. “Thanks.”

“What happened to you?” Zuko asked. His voice was farther away now, hesitant to be close to her now that she was mostly unrestrained. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She hesitated, helplessly looking around. “Is Mai okay?” 

“You cracked two of her ribs.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

He paused, taken aback at the apology. 

“She’ll be okay. She just needs some time to recover.” 

She nodded, body relaxing slightly. “Where am I?” 

“You’re in the palace’s apothecary.” 

Again, she nodded and quiet fell upon them. Zuko sighed loudly and she rolled her eyes, an instinctual action even if she couldn’t see. 

“What is it?” she asked impatiently. 

“I see we still don’t know how to talk to each other.” 

“What do we have to talk about?” 

“Can’t we try?” 

“Fine.” She started aggressively but her voice quickly softened. “Thank you. For being here. I know you could have just locked me up again.” 

“I don’t want to do that again. It was a mistake the first time. I should have tried to help you.” 

She blinked her eyes and the room came into hazy focus. 

“Didn’t I just try to kill you?” she said, mocking the words that were said earlier. 

Zuko sighed. “You’re not making this easy.” 

She raised her head to look at him, an eyebrow raised in amusement. He started forward, coming to her side again. 

“Are you- Can you see again?” 

“Yes, I am fortunate enough to be able to see your wonderful face again,” she said sarcastically. 

He winced slightly, hand unconsciously coming up to his scar. She paused, softening at his sudden vulnerability. 

“It’s not because of the scar,” she said hesitantly. “I’m just making fun of your face in general.” 

She could feel the effects of chi-blocking wearing off, slowly but surely. Her hand met the side of the bed and she gingerly pulled herself up, wincing at the sudden bolt of pain in her side. Slowly, she unwrapped the bandages on her right arm, tugging them down past the handcuffs and to her elbow. 

“I have one too now. We’re almost matching. Though I suppose they’re on opposite sides.” 

She raised her arm as much as she could and showed Zuko the spiraling burn that ran from just below her elbow and past her wrist. The red reached her palm to cover nearly her entire forearm, almost like something burning had wrapped around her arm. 

He inhaled deeply. “What happened?” 

“Bounty hunters. Not all of them are as efficient as the last one you sent after me.” Her hand opened and closed reflexively, the damaged skin stretching unappealingly. 

He moved over the side of the bed, carefully taking her hand. 

“Agni, I’m so sorry. I explicitly said that I wanted them to take you uninjured and alive, but . . . I should’ve known it was still dangerous.” 

“It’s fine. They’re dead now anyway.” She pulled her hand out of his grasp, leaving him speechless. 

She rewrapped her arm tightly. Zuko was still at a loss for words. 

“What are you going to do with me now?” Azula asked, securing the end of the bandages. 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “You don’t want to go back to the institution, do you?” 

“I wasn’t aware I had a choice in the matter.” 

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for you! Can’t you work with me right now?” 

Zuko looked at her earnestly, a hint of desperation in his eyes, and she knew it wasn’t a trick. 

“You could put me on monitored palace arrest. Although I’m still very confused as to why you’re taking advice from me.” She leaned back, on one hand, uneasy. 

He nodded, deep in thought. “I’ll think about it.” 

She pulled her legs up, sitting cross-legged. 

“So, what have you been doing the past five years?” she asked. Her tone hinted that she was bored but the look in her eyes betrayed a genuine curiosity. 

He sat on the edge of the bed carefully. 

“Oh, just created a new country, helped restore the South Pole, set up a de-propagandized education system. Just casual Firelord things.” 

“Oh, right. The ‘United Republic.’ I spent some time there. The name is slightly boring though.” 

“Yeah, because the ‘Fire’ Nation is so creative,” he retorted.

Azula laughed softly, to Zuko’s surprise. He softened, slightly less on edge around her. 

“What about you? What have you been up to?” 

“Traveling, mostly. A lot of running.” She shrugged, playing with the blanket beneath her fingers. “Taught self-defense classes to sex workers. Became a bandit-fighting vigilante. Just casual disowned fugitive things.” 

“You’re not disowned. We’re still family.” He smiled at her joking tone, something that was unusual to him. 

“Right. Um.” She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her forehead. “I’m sorry for . . . everything. But especially for trying to kill you . . . several times. 

“Oh, I-” Zuko was taken aback at the apology. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Someone told me that I needed to stop tapping into anger as the root of my fire, and the key to not being angry is apologizing and forgiving.” 

“Oh. Whoever said that sounds pretty smart. I don’t-” He took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’m there yet. I’m not ready to forgive you.” 

She nodded. 

“I understand. I wasn’t expecting you to immediately. Not that I wanted to come back,” she said pointedly. 

“I know. I’m sorry for dragging you home.” 

Azula shook her head lightly, gripping the blanket. “I knew I had to see you again eventually. I was just avoiding it for as long as I could.” 

“You know. . . if you’re actually apologizing to people now, you might want to start with Mom. You scared the hell out of her the last time you saw her.” 

“I don’t want to see her, Zuko. Please don’t make me.” Her voice was soft and it reminded him of when she was a child, when they still got along and they weren’t broken by their parents. 

“Okay, I won’t. But just think about it, okay? Please.” 

She nodded, looking away. 

“There are also some people right outside you could apologize to,” he said with a small smile. 

“Now you’re pushing it,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

“Come on. Not even Ty Lee?” 

She froze, her mind flashing back to the last time she saw Ty Lee, when she collapsed in her arms. And the time before that, when she left without saying goodbye once again. 

“I don’t think she wants to see me.” 

“Okay, well you’re going to have to see her eventually. I’m assigning the Kyoshi Warriors to guard you for the foreseeable future. You’ll be free to move around the palace grounds with supervision but you can’t go outside.” 

She nodded silently once more. 

“Thank you for not putting me in that place again. I hated it there,” she said maliciously. 

“Of course. I never liked it very much either. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you,” he said quietly. 

He shook his head lightly, looking back up at her and smiling in relief. 

“I’m glad you’re trying. Wait that sounds- ugh, I don’t know how to say this.” 

“I get it, Zuko. I’m glad too. I- I miss when we actually got along,” she admitted softly. 

His spirits soared and he smiled widely before composing himself once again. For the first time in years, his primary feeling towards her wasn’t regret but instead hope. 

“Can I ask you something?” he said hesitantly. 

“I suppose.” 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but earlier when you said . . . it wouldn't be the first time you tried to kill yourself. . . Did you mean that?” 

Her neutral expression hardened and she looked away. 

“Yes. Twice.” 

Zuko didn’t know what to say. His heart broke at the thought of his little sister, who had gone through too much in her life, turning to suicide as her last option, not one, but two times in her life. Both of which he hadn’t been there for. 

He could feel the tension building in the air and slowly took her hand in his own. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Are you-” 

“I’m not going to try again, don’t worry. It’s not like you would care anyway.” There was a mix of defeat and quiet acceptance in her voice. 

“I would. I’ll prove it to you.” His voice was firm, resolute in the words he was saying. “And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ll be here for you from now on, whatever you need.” 

She met his gaze, feeling the culmination of years of built-up mistrust and struggling to overcome it. 

“Okay.” Her eyes fell back upon the blanket, picking at it roughly. 

“I’m going to let you rest. Are you okay with staying in your old room?” 

She barely looked up. “That’s fine.” 

“Okay. I hope you feel better soon.” He hesitated, feeling the urge to hug her and also wanting to respect her boundaries. Deciding against it, he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “Let me know if you need anything.” 

She nodded, having reverted back to an unresponsive, almost catatonic state. Frowning, Zuko realized that he wasn’t going to get much else out of her and turned, leaving the room without another word. 

* * *

“Are you actually doing this? Letting her roam around the palace to do what she pleases?” Katara questioned angrily. 

Zuko had gathered Katara, Aang, Sokka, and Suki to tell them his plan for Azula, and so far it wasn’t going very well. 

Aang was staring thoughtfully out the window, listening intently to the conversation. 

“She’s got a point, Zuko. You’re being pretty lenient with her, even after everything she’s done,” Suki said.

“How can I not be?” Zuko said. “She’s my sister! I’m supposed to be there for her and protect her, and I was gone for three years.” 

“That wasn’t your fault,” Suki said softly. 

“I know, but it let my dad fuck her up even more, and right now she is trying, actually trying to be better.” He took a deep breath. “So I’m going to try too.” 

Suki nodded slowly. “If that’s your decision, then I support it. But I would like to say that I have some reservations.” 

“I understand. Thank you.” 

Katara nudged Aang, who was deep in thought, with her elbow. “What do you think?” 

“Honestly?” He glanced at Katara, hesitation evident in his eyes as he addressed Zuko. “I think it’s worth a shot. I wasn’t there when you two fought her on the day of Sozin’s Comet, so I can’t form an opinion on that. I know that you gave her several chances to prove herself and she’s . . . thrown them away every time, but it’s been five years. It might be worth it to see what happens. And she’ll be guarded by very capable people all the time so I don’t see the harm in it.” 

“What do Mai and Ty Lee think?” Sokka said, speaking for the first time since Zuko brought the topic up. 

“Mai is . . . undecided. I haven’t talked to Ty Lee about it, but I honestly don’t know what she’ll think. They’ve got history.”

“I can tell her if you want,” Suki said. 

“Would you? I would really appreciate it,” Zuko said. 

“Of course.” She squeezed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. 

“If that’s all you have to say, I would like to speak to Sokka alone,” Zuko addressed all of them. 

“Of course, Zuko,” Aang said with a knowing smile. 

Katara hesitantly let Aang put his arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the room, glancing back at Sokka. 

“I’ll see you guys later.” Suki planted a kiss on each of their cheeks, to tired smiles. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Sokka leaned back against the table. 

“You were awfully quiet. I want to know what you think. I value your opinion.” Zuko looked at him imploringly, eyes wide. 

“Would my opinion change anything? You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?” Sokka looked away, arms crossed. 

“Mostly, but I would appreciate your support,” Zuko said helplessly. 

Sokka shook his head. “I really want to support you in this, but I don’t know, Zuko. I know what she’s done to you and Suki and Aang and all of us! You’ve got the scars to prove it!” 

Zuko clutched his torso where his scar was, looking away in shame. 

“Can she really be trusted? She took down the Kyoshi Warriors once, who’s to say she couldn’t do it again?” Sokka continued. “I can see how much you want to mend your relationship with her and I understand that, but I’m not entirely sure if it’s worth it.” 

“Not worth it?” Zuko could feel his anger boiling up inside of him and took several deep breaths to calm himself down. “I don’t think you do understand. I’ve met your dad; actually, I love your dad. I know he was gone for a long time, but you have no idea what it's like to be pitted against your sister from when she can barely walk, or dealing with the royal politics of the roles of firstborn and second-born children, not to mention my power-obsessed, maniacal father. I haven’t felt close to her since she was nine and I was eleven. That’s more than a decade! And I know what people say about her; that she’s crazy and power-hungry and she was born evil, but that’s not true. Ozai victimized her as much as he did with me, only her scars aren’t physical. I understand that absolutely does not excuse the things she did, but I know why she did them and I get it. I did the same things when I was a teenager, except I had people who loved me and helped me realize that I needed to change, including you. With Azula, everyone she’s ever cared about ended up on the opposing side. I’m just trying to be the kind of person for her that you and Uncle were for me.” 

Sokka nodded, arms crossed, but his expression was slightly less closed off now. 

“I’m still not sure about this, but I think I understand it a little more. Okay, I support your plan.” 

Zuko’s body dipped in relief, releasing the tension he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in. Sokka wrapped him in a tight hug, rubbing his back gently. 

“But I’m staying until I’m sure she can be trusted,” he said firmly. 

Zuko sighed in contentment. “I’ll take it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T ask me where toph is idk. she's off living her best life. she'll show up soon tho don't worry  
> also, the thing azula experienced in this chapter is called conversion disorder, it's basically when your mind converts your stress into physical symptoms (she's got a lot of stress)


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a week of complacency and Zuko had downgraded Azula’s detail to just two Kyoshi Warriors. 

Ty Lee was in her detail today, and she was ignoring Azula like every other time she’d been with her that week. It was understandable, but Azula would be lying if she said it didn’t hurt. 

She figured Ty Lee would talk to her when she was ready, so she didn’t press the matter. Truth be told, she was itching to have a proper conversation with her, but Azula—despite her tendency toward impatience—had always been a little more tolerant with Ty Lee, and this was no exception. 

She had been surprised to learn that Mai and Ty Lee now lived together in one of the villas just outside the palace grounds. The Kyoshi Warriors had mentioned it in front of her with loud voices and pointed glances that Azula took to mean Ty Lee had told them everything about their past relationship. 

The feeling that settled deep in her stomach gnawed at her hungrily, a feeling that she refused to admit was jealousy. It had culminated in a remarkable dislike of the Kyoshi Warriors and everyone else who was unfortunate to cross her path. 

The soft, apologetic woman Zuko had seen in the apothecary was gone now, replaced with the familiar overconfident, impetuous girl he had grown up with, and that girl took every chance she could get to irk the Kyoshi Warriors. 

Unsurprisingly, she had yet to see Mai, despite it being a week since she was brought back to the capital. Azula presumed she was avoiding her, just as everyone seemed to be avoiding her. Rooms vacated as soon as she walked in, hallways seemed empty as she walked down them, and courtyards remained sparse, other than the constant supervision that followed her around. 

Azula had been spending a lot of time in the library, partly because no one bothered her there and she didn’t have anything else to do. After the war, Zuko had attempted to recover any literature pertaining to the Fire Nation and the world before the Air Nomad genocide, when Sozin purged everything from before his reign as Fire Lord. His efforts had paid off because the library was filled with new materials she knew nothing about, and she prided herself on knowing everything someone could possibly ask her about. 

Today however, she made a beeline for the back, behind several stacks of shelves. 

She had convinced Ty Lee and the other one to wait outside with a “There’s only one way in or out. How could I possibly escape?” 

It also probably helped that Ty Lee seemed to want to spend as little time with her as possible, and as much as it pained Azula, it had provided this opportunity. 

She slipped around the back and, looking around cautiously, pressed a brick in the wall to open a secret passage that went throughout the palace. 

She wasn’t planning to escape (it’s not like she had anywhere else to go), but being followed around by people whose only goal was to catch her in the wrong got tiring very quickly. 

The door closed behind her and she lit up the tunnel, holding a blue flame in her palm. If her memory served her well, this passage led to the kitchen and a hallway near the Royal Gallery. She remembered using it with Mai and Ty Lee—and at one point, Zuko—to sneak sweets out of the kitchen. 

Shaking her head, she walked past the entrance that led to the kitchen, her stomach twisting at the memory, now tainted with feelings of mistrust and betrayal. 

The corridor was damp and it was apparent it hadn’t been used in years if the cobwebs were any indication. Of course it hadn’t: barely anyone else knew about it and the ones who did hardly had a reason to use it. 

Burning cobwebs as she went, the corridor was lit up in a ghostly tint as she made her way through. She hadn’t remembered it taking this long, but everything seems quicker when you’re a child. 

Finally, Azula reached the exit, marked with a small piece of cloth tied to a brick protruding from the wall. The cloth was faded and infected with mildew, but still intact. 

Ty Lee had tied it there when they were kids, claiming it would help them find the exit every time. She stared at it for a second too long. She thought about setting it on fire but decided against it. The last thing she needed was to breathe in mold. 

Maybe going down this passage wasn’t the best idea. At least she was getting out. 

She listened carefully at the wall for anyone nearby, then slowly pushed it open, cringing at the sound of the stone scraping against the floor. 

Hopping out, she looked around for anyone walking by and, satisfied that no one was around, made her way down the hallway. 

Azula peeked around the corner, quickly pulling back. Eyes narrowed, she poked her head out slowly, laying eyes on Zuko. Her eyes widened slightly. Upon further inspection, he was pale, breathing heavily as he leaned against the wall. 

She tried to ignore the twinge of concern she felt, but it wouldn’t go away. Groaning internally, she walked out. 

“Zuko?” she called cautiously. 

He looked up at her with wary eyes, leaning heavily against the wall. Breathing deeply, he stood and smoothed out his robes, face still pale. 

“Zuko, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft. 

He hesitated, then sighed. 

"One of the generals told me I look like Ozai." 

She sighed and walked over to him. 

"Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows you take after Mom. Do you want me to fire him? Literally?" 

He didn't respond, still breathing shakily. He looked away and she brought her hand up to his face, tilting his chin up so he was looking in her eyes. 

"Zuko, it doesn't matter whether or not you look like him. You're nothing like him. Who cares if you have the same facial structure or whatever?" 

He nodded slowly. 

"Thanks. That actually helps a lot. Who knew you could be supportive?" he teased weakly. 

She rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile. 

"Wait, where are the Kyoshi Warriors that are supposed to be with you?" he asked suspiciously. 

"I might have slipped away from them." 

He shot her a scolding look, reminiscent of their mother. “Why didn’t you run away? You’ve made it very clear you don’t want to be here.” 

“You would never trust me again, and for some reason, I care about that now.” Personally, she hated that she cared about his opinion, but she had begrudgingly accepted it. 

“Oh.” He looked surprised. “Well, I guess it’s okay if you’re with me. I should probably let Suki know though.” 

At the mention of Suki, her memory was jogged. “By the way, why did Mai break up with you?” 

“How do you know that? What if _I_ broke up with her?” he said indignantly. 

She shot him a look and he sighed. 

“Okay, fine, she broke up with me. I used to-” He looked away. “I used to talk to Dad for advice and I didn’t tell her about it. We were on a downhill for a while anyway, so if it hadn’t been that, it probably would have been the next thing.” 

“Oh. Are you . . . okay?” she asked uncomfortably. 

“Yeah, I’m fine now. It was years ago anyway. Um, you do know that she is now dating-” 

“Ty Lee? Yes, I figured that out,” Azula said spitefully. 

“Um. Are you okay?” 

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m perfectly happy for them. It’s none of my business. Besides, they’re made for each other. The two traitorous best friends, together forever. Well, maybe not forever; we'll see how long they last.” 

“Azula, really? Would it kill you to be supportive?” 

“I was just being supportive to you. Once is enough.” 

“Okay, well maybe don’t say all of that in front of them.” 

“Fine. So you and Suki are together now?” 

“Yeah, uh . . .” He paused, unsure of what her reaction would be to what he was about to tell her. “And Sokka.” 

“Wait.” She held her hand up and his heart sank. “That Water Tribe boy with the boomerang and the tiny ponytail?” 

“That’s the one.” 

She shrugged. “Good for you.” 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” 

“What did you expect me to say?” Azula asked in an accusatory tone. 

“Honestly, something homophobic. Also something about me dating two people.” 

“Everything goes right over your head, doesn’t it?” 

“What?” 

“Zuko.” She looked pointedly at him. “Never mind.” 

“Uh, okay. You don’t have anything to say about the ‘me-dating-two-people’ part?” 

“Are you trying to get me to insult you?” 

“No, I’m just not used to you _not_ insulting me. It’s a little weird,” he admitted. 

“Honestly, I’m just surprised you convinced not one, but two people to date you. Is that better?” 

He shrugged. “It’ll do. I’m supposed to have tea with Uncle. Do you want to come?” 

“You want me to come?” She looked at him warily. 

“Yeah. We’re family. Besides, you need to apologize to him too,” he said pointedly. 

She sighed. “I suppose.” 

He put his hand on her shoulder and led her away, and she let him. 

“You do realize that it means less if you make me do it?” she said, throwing up one of her hands. 

“Azula, no one could ever _make_ you do anything you don’t want to do. Besides, I thought you were on an apology roll.” 

“Ugh, fine.” 

* * *

Azula had learned several things during tea with her uncle. 

-His Royal Tea-loving Kookiness was in fact not kooky at all, but indeed just an old man with a rather serious fondness for tea. 

-He was far more forgiving than her father. 

-She actually liked the tea with tapioca pearls he had her try, even though Zuko hated it. It was interesting. 

Azula had walked into the tearoom uncomfortable and wary. She walked out relaxed and somewhat lighter. Iroh had accepted her uneasy apology with a smile and something about pride and humility, and then it was like none of it had ever happened at all, and they had always been a happy, if slightly dysfunctional, family. She knew it wasn’t true, but it was nice to feel that way, if only for a short while. 

“Fire Lord Zuko, may I speak to you privately?” Iroh asked as they walked out of the room. 

“Of course, Uncle.” 

“Thank you for the tea,” Azula said with a bow. “And your forgiveness. I know I haven’t done much to deserve it.” 

“Nonsense,” Iroh said with a wave of his hand. “Asking for forgiveness is, in itself, an act of incredible bravery and I’m very proud of you for finding the humility within yourself to do so.” 

“Thank you, Uncle Iroh. That means more than you could ever know.” 

“Of course.” He bowed one last time, beckoning to Zuko. 

“Uh, just wait here,” Zuko said to Azula. 

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to be.” She rested her back against the wall as Zuko followed Iroh just out of earshot. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Zuko asked. 

"You probably don't remember this, Fire Lord Zuko, but after your Agni Kai with your father, Azula wouldn't leave your side. She stayed with you for days until Ozai ordered her to leave. I thought the three years we were away had been too long and Ozai had corrupted her completely by the end of the war, but now I see hints of that girl. The girl who loved her brother and hated her father for what he did, and was also deathly afraid that he would do the same to her." 

Tears came to Zuko’s eyes and he hastily wiped them away. “Thank you for telling me, Uncle.” 

Iroh smiled and placed a reassuring hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I think you made the right choice in bringing her home. There is a lot of healing that needs to take place, but this is a good start. I only wonder what happened to her over the past five years to make her humble enough to ask for forgiveness, or even admit that she did something wrong. It doesn’t seem like her.” 

“Yeah, I wonder too. I hope, in time, she’ll come to trust me enough to tell me.” He smiled and looked over at Azula. The smile dropped from his face quickly. “Oh, no. Excuse me, Uncle.” 

Iroh chuckled as Zuko dashed off to where Azula was standing across from Mai. 

Mai had cursed in her head when she saw Azula, and, in dismay, realized she had to tilt her head up to look Azula in the eyes, something she already had to do with Ty Lee. 

They locked eyes for several seconds, both unsure of where they stood with each other. 

Finally, Mai spoke. 

"You got taller." 

"You didn't," Azula replied with a familiar smirk. 

Mai clenched her jaw as Zuko cleared his throat and stepped slightly in between them. 

“Zuko, I need to talk to you,” Mai said with a sigh, shooting a dirty look at Azula. 

“Okay. But first, Azula would like to say something to you.” He shot Azula a pointed look. 

“I would?” she asked disdainfully. 

He cleared his throat. “Apologize,” he hissed out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Oh, right.” She pushed herself off the wall and Zuko stepped back slightly. 

To everyone’s surprise, Azula bowed to Mai. Even Mai, usually stoic, sported a shocked look for a second before she regained her composure. 

“I apologize for injuring you last week. It was not my intention to hurt you.” 

“Also. . .” Zuko prodded gently, recovered from his initial surprise. 

Azula cleared her throat uncomfortably and muttered something under her breath. 

“Sorry, what was that?” Mai asked. 

“Also for . . . imprisoning you,” Azula said. She looked away in shame, a rare glimpse into the sincerity beyond the superficial self she projected to the world. “I was a terrible friend and I never took your feelings into account. And I’m . . . happy for you and Ty Lee. I’m sure you’re very happy together.” 

A part of Mai softened, but her outward appearance remained the same. 

“I understand if you don’t forgive me right now or . . . ever. I just hope you do. It seems to be a theme these days,” Azula continued warily. 

Zuko nodded happily at the interaction. 

“Proud of you,” he whispered to Azula. “Good job being the bigger person.” 

She rolled her eyes and turned away, but a part of her felt warm and the sinking feeling that had settled in her gut for the past week lifted. 

He nudged her playfully in the side and she winced. 

“Zuko!” she hissed. 

“Ah, I completely forgot you’re hurt. Are you okay?” he asked frantically. 

She straightened and laughed. 

“Relax, it didn’t hurt that much. I just like messing with you,” she said with a friendly smirk. “Now, go do your Fire Lord duties. I’m sure they’re thrilling.” 

Just then, Suki and Ty Lee rushed up, out of breath. 

“There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you,” Suki said breathlessly, resting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. 

“Zuko, did you forget to tell Suki that I was with you?” Azula asked in amusement. 

“Perhaps,” he said sheepishly. “Sorry.” 

“Only way in or out of the library, huh?” Ty Lee asked, arms crossed. 

“What can I say?” Azula with a shrug. “I like keeping you on your toes.” 

Ty Lee looked cautiously between Mai and Azula but surprisingly, the atmosphere wasn’t nearly as tense as she expected. 

“Zuko, I actually do have to talk to you,” Mai reminded. 

“Oh, right! Bye, Azula! Don’t get into too much trouble.” 

“What’s with her?” Mai asked quietly as they walked away. “Why is she actually _friendly_?” 

“I’m not sure, but I’m not questioning it. Questionably friendly Azula is better than lightning-shooting Azula,” he whispered back. 

* * *

The next time Azula slipped away, Suki and Ty Lee found her in the Garden of Tranquil Souls, sitting in front of an overgrown, elaborate gravestone that indicated it was a member of the royal family. The incense had long since burnt out, but she was still there, staring solemnly at the name on the stone. 

“Is she okay?” Suki asked, peeking out from behind the entrance. “She’s just . . . sitting there.” 

Ty Lee squinted at the name on the stone and sighed. “She and Lu Ten were really close. His death hit her hard, not that she would ever admit it.” 

“What should we do?” Suki asked cautiously. 

“You do realize I can hear you two?” Azula didn’t turn around but it was clear she was talking to them. 

They walked out hesitantly. 

“What are you doing here?” Suki asked. 

“I can’t even mourn my family members in peace, can I?” Azula said, eyes narrowing. 

“No, sorry, I just- I’ve never been here before. I didn’t even know it existed,” Suki stammered. 

In other words: _Ty Lee showed me how to get here._

“Not many people do. Can’t have people desecrating royal graves, after all.” 

“This is the first time you’ve visited in a while, right?” Ty Lee asked. 

Azula looked up in surprise. “Yes. Truth be told, I came here for an entirely selfish reason.” She sighed. “I see people sometimes. People who aren’t really there. He’s one of them, and I’ve been seeing a lot more of him lately. I thought if I came here, it would remind me that he’s really gone and he would stop _haunting_ me.” 

“Did it work?” Ty Lee asked softly. 

“I don’t know. It certainly didn’t make me feel any better.” 

Azula stood up, brushing off her pants. 

“What about you two? Why did it take you so long to find me?” she asked. 

“The whole palace is busy prepping for the White Lotus meeting this week. Actually, the first members are set to arrive tomorrow,” Suki explained. 

“The White Lotus, huh? Maybe I’ll see some old friends.” Azula’s gaze shifted over Ty Lee’s shoulder, focusing on something that wasn’t actually there, and her eyes narrowed. “I guess it didn’t work.” 

* * *

"It's not enough that she comes back after all this time, but she has to be taller than me?" Mai complained loudly, walking into the bathroom. 

"Babe, I'm taller than you too," Ty Lee sighed from the bedroom. 

"You're you, that's different. I just wanted to smack that smug look off her face." 

"I mean, she did actually apologize to you." 

"Oh right, for one thing among a lifetime of misdeeds, that totally makes up for everything!" Mai stuck her head out of the bathroom, glancing over at Ty Lee. "What about you? Has she talked to you at all?" 

"Nope. She makes fun of every Kyoshi Warrior but me." 

“Ugh.” Mai went back into the bathroom. “At least you don’t have to see her tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, right,” Ty Lee muttered. 

Truth be told, Mai was doubting her words even as she spoke them. Earlier, as Azula apologized, she seemed genuinely ashamed of her actions, something Mai hadn’t even known she could feel. It was completely unexpected and it had torn a deep hole in the demonized version of Azula Mai had spent years scorning. But there was no way she had changed that much . . . was there? 

“Will you stop complaining about Azula and come to bed already? We both have to get up early tomorrow,” Ty Lee said, shaking Mai out of her thoughts. 

“I’ll be there in a second.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how growth spurts work but LISTEN. Avatar Roku was 6'8". azula got the tall genes
> 
> ALSO i would just like to say that i love any ship mai is in as long as she is happy but what zuko said about their breakup is canon in the comics
> 
> as always, feedback is appreciated :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since it wasn't clear last chapter:  
> azula hit a growth spurt and is now the same height as ty lee  
> mai is shorter than both of them, much to her annoyance

Azula had thought about it many times over the past five years, reuniting with Mai and Ty Lee again. Oftentimes they were involuntary, stray thoughts keeping her up in the middle of the night. ‘Reuniting’ was probably the wrong word, because it implied that both parties _wanted_ to see each other again, which was certainly not the case.

Her eyes traced the fabric of the canopy above her as she went over her last interaction with Mai. She never truly knew what Mai was thinking, as much as she liked to think that she did. Part of her, the angry, unforgiving part was clamoring at the top of her lungs, calling her weak and merciful and demanding Mai’s head on a stick.

The other part had prevailed, the voice in her head that rationalized Mai’s actions and provided a basis for forgiveness and, also for an apology. 

But-

“Why did you apologize to Mai? Didn’t she betray you?” Lu Ten said casually, tossing some fire flakes into his mouth. 

Azula looked over to where he was leaning against the wall, her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. 

“Can you please leave me alone?” she said. “It’s too early for this.” 

“Ooh, right. Today’s the day the White Lotus reunites. Do you think they’re gonna talk about you?” 

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” She pulled the blanket back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. 

“You realize you can’t lie to me, right? I’m part of you.” 

She turned to glare at him and he shrugged. 

“I’m just telling it like it is. Why did you get up so early anyway?” he asked, leaning against one of the bedposts. “They’re not coming until later.” 

“Going outside is better than being stuck with you,” she said in annoyance. 

“It’s literally dawn. And I take personal offense to that. Am I not your favorite cousin?” 

Azula barely restrained herself from snapping. “You’re my only cousin. By that logic, you are both my favorite and my least favorite cousin.” 

She gave him a mocking smile and tugged her shirt over her head, tossing it on the ground and walking to the adjoining bathroom. Wincing slightly, she stretched out her arms, feeling the constant, dull ache in her elbows, a side effect of her involuntary tenure at the mental institution. Straitjackets aren’t good for you in long increments. Who knew? 

“I am looking away,” Lu Ten announced, dutifully covering his eyes. 

“Did you forget that you’re just in my head?” 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t respect your privacy.” 

Azula scoffed, leaning forward and locking eyes with her reflection in the mirror. Her gaze roamed over her body, searching for something. She hadn’t really realized how much she had changed since she was a teenager, both mentally and physically. A previously pristine landscape was now marred by scars, a variety of divots and slashes scattered across her body. By far the most jarring was the one on the left side of her torso, a horrific burn that vaguely looked like a hand. 

She leaned back and angled her torso forward to get a better glimpse at the tattoo underneath her right breast, depicting a scorpion in hues of red, orange, and black, a red-tinted knife clasped in its pincers. 

“I still think that was a mistake,” Lu Ten contributed, still covering his eyes. 

“You’re not even looking.” 

“I just _know_. Why a scorpion anyway? What’s the significance?” 

“Aren’t you a ‘part of me’? Shouldn’t you already know?” 

He sighed. “I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I?” 

“When have you ever known me _not_ to use what people say against them?” She gave him a pointed stare, a pointless action due to the fact that he was covering his eyes and not even facing towards her. 

With a glare that went unseen, Azula took a pair of scissors from the counter and snipped through the bandages around her torso. The cut on her side was less of a raw wound and had faded from the bright red it was a week ago. As per the doctor’s orders, she dutifully slathered a handful of burn ointment on it, wincing slightly at the stinging sensation. Her stomach tensed, the soreness intensifying. Breathing slowly, in through her nose and out through her mouth, she relaxed and let the ointment do its job. 

Slowly, she rewrapped her torso, securing the bandages tightly. Moving sluggishly, she turned to the closet, pulling the doors open, and looked upon empty shelves. The closet, like the rest of her room, was sparsely filled. As she grabbed a shirt off a hanger, she made a mental note to ask Zuko what he had done with the rest of her things. The sleeveless shirt was slightly too loose around the shoulders, something she blamed on the tailor’s shaking fingers when he took her measurements, but other than that it fit fine. 

In the mirror, she raised her hands to her head and tied her hair up. Azula’s signature topknot was exactly that, signature, and would have allowed for her to be recognized too easily. Over time, she had taken to simply pulling her hair back into a ponytail or tying it half-up, which is what she did now. 

She wrapped her right forearm in sarashi and pulled a pair of arm bracers on. 

“Why do you keep that covered?” Lu Ten asked curiously, peering over her shoulder. 

“Are you still here?” she asked with a sigh. “I don’t exactly need another reason for people to stare at me.” 

“Why, do you not like me?” he pouted, completely ignoring the answer to the question he asked. 

“Can you go away?” Azula asked tiredly. “Especially when I’m around other people; they already think I’m psychotic. It certainly wouldn’t help if I started talking to myself in front of them.” 

“Well. . . are you _not_?” he joked lightly. 

Apathy changed to anger and she whipped her head around, glaring daggers at him. 

“Leave me alone!” she snapped. “You’re not my cousin! You’re just an ill-conceived imitation of him whose only purpose is to tell me what’s wrong with me!” 

“I- Fine.” He seemed particularly incensed but he walked out of view, and after a few seconds Azula couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore. 

She exhaled steadily, adjusting her collar in the mirror before heading to the door. Opening the door, she was greeted by Suki and another Kyoshi Warrior whom she recognized, but didn’t know. 

“Good morning,” Suki said with a yawn. 

“Have you been out there all night?” Azula asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“No, we just switched shifts.” Suki narrowed her eyes slightly, wondering what prompted Azula to ask. At the tired look on Azula’s face, she decided it was just curiosity or a slip of the tongue that betrayed a measure of concern. 

“You’re up early,” she remarked. 

“I’m always awake this early. My mornings are usually spent burning people I hate in effigy. I decided to skip that today.” Azula’s voice was completely serious. 

“Oh-kay. Got any plans for the day?” Suki asked skeptically. 

“Yes.” Without another word, Azula walked out of her room and down the hallway, a determined look on her face. 

* * *

The library was a good place to go if you didn’t want to be bothered, but it was dark and dingy and the air always smelled faintly of mold, which is why Azula had borrowed a few books from the library, choosing to take her reading elsewhere. 

It was only a coincidence that she happened to pass Mai in the hallway. It was not a coincidence that Mai looked away as she walked by. 

“17," Azula said as Mai walked past. 

"What?" Mai stopped and turned to look at Azula. Azula met her gaze, unwavering as ever. 

"17," she repeated. "Am I right?" 

"14," Mai said after a moment of silence. "You were off by three." 

"14 what?" Suki asked, in confusion about the whole interaction. 

"That's how many knives she's wearing. I used to guess how many, though I suppose I'm out of practice. I've never been off by three before." Azula's eyes never left Mai's, narrowed in slight suspicion. 

Mai had lied. She was wearing 16 knives at the moment. She just couldn't bear to give Azula the satisfaction of being almost right. 

“That’s more than usual,” Azula continued, flashing a patronizing smile at Mai. “Are you afraid of something?” 

“Excuse me for being on guard around you, the person who threw me in prison.” _Among other things._

Azula laughed lightly and turned to fully face Mai. 

"Oh, please. Did you really think it was a coincidence that you and Ty Lee got sent to the nicest prison this side of the Fire Nation?" 

Mai looked at her skeptically. 

"You told the guards to let us rot." 

"I never said you couldn't rot in _style_ ,” Azula said, an air of indifference about her words. “My father wanted you executed. Said it was a disgrace that my oldest friends betrayed me and let the traitor Crown Prince escape with his life. I convinced him to let you live." 

"Why would you do that?" 

"To be perfectly honest with you, I never thought I would lose to Zuko. I figured I could deal with you myself when the time came." 

Mai scoffed, all illusions of friendship and Azula actually caring about someone other than herself gone. "That doesn’t make any sense. Why would your father want to execute us?" 

“You know how traitors are treated in the Fire Nation, or at least how they were before good old Zuzu took over. You saw plenty at the Boiling Rock and I’m sure your uncle regaled you of the punishments brought down upon them. But those were garden-variety soldiers, most of whom had run away in the heat of battle and were later recovered by their compatriots. Sure, they were a few high-ranking officials, but no nobles. Traitors to the Royal Family were treated a bit differently. Namely, they were executed. Father had to send a message, even if the two traitors in question were a pair of teenage girls from two of the most loyal noble families in the Fire Nation. Though I suppose loyalty doesn’t run in the family.” An underlying tension laced through her words, malice in the form of a simple explanation. 

Suki and the other, unfamiliar Kyoshi Warrior placed hands on their weapons and Azula turned her head towards them. 

“Relax, I’m not threatening anybody. I’m simply explaining the situation as it unfolded.”

“And why would I believe a single word you say?” Mai asked, her shield of apathy once again drawn high. 

“I never made a habit of lying to _you_. You and I both know that.” Azula tilted her head in an infuriating way, and Mai’s blood boiled when she realized Azula was right. 

Azula sighed and dropped her gaze. “Fine, don’t believe me. If you’d like to check, I’m fairly certain the order was signed by a Commander Jee.” 

Mai opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. She scoffed and shook her head, turning away. 

Azula watched Mai as she walked away, eyes tracing the outline of her body. 

_16_ , she thought with finality. 

“Why do you do that?” Suki asked in an accusatory tone. 

“What, tell the truth? I thought that’s what you people wanted from me.” 

“It’s one thing to be honest, but it’s like you’re doing it just to get a rise out of people.” 

“Getting a rise out of Mai is always an accomplishment,” Azula replied in a neutral tone. 

She turned suddenly to a passing servant, scaring him into nearly dropping the basket he was carrying, and asked him to bring a tray of tea to the courtyard. He nodded, pale-faced, and darted off. 

Azula found herself in a corner of the courtyard, sat cross-legged, and flipped open a book. At some point, someone set a tray of tea down next to her that went largely ignored. 

Not ten minutes later, Aang turned the corner, eyes widening as he saw her. 

"Ah! Azula!" Aang whipped his staff in front of her. 

She looked down at the staff in front of her nose in amusement. 

"Hello, young Avatar." 

He pulled his staff away and cleared his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” 

“Would you like some tea?” Azula said, hand waving casually over her setup. 

“You only have one cup,” he remarked cautiously. 

“I wasn’t actually offering, but I suppose I can get another one.” 

She raised her hand and snapped, and a servant scurried over. 

“Yes, Princess?” 

“Would you bring a cup for the Avatar?” she asked, looking over her shoulder. 

“Of course, Princess.” 

Aang sat down cross-legged next to her. 

“What are you reading?” he asked politely. 

Azula held up the book, facing the spine towards him. He twisted his head to read the title. 

“ _There’s No Such Thing as a Good Fire Lord: An Analysis on the War Criminals, Cowards, and Liars That Led the Fire Nation, 7th Edition_. That’s a long title,” he remarked. 

“It’s quite a scathing commentary on my ancestors. I find it amusing,” she replied, returning her gaze to the page she was on. 

The servant returned, placing the cup on the tray with a bow. Azula nodded and poured a cup of tea for Aang, who accepted it gratefully. 

“So, who’s the worst?” Aang asked, only half-joking. 

“I haven’t gotten that far yet, though I suspect either my father or Fire Lord Sozin. However, in my opinion, an often overlooked terrible Fire Lord was Chaeryu, who set the stage for a civil war simply by sleeping around.” 

Aang nodded, visibly lost. 

“You have no idea who that is, do you?” Azula said with a sigh. 

He shook his head, grinning sheepishly. 

“He was Fire Lord before Kyoshi’s time. Had a child with a mistress from an opposing clan, then tossed her aside to marry another woman, with whom he also had a child. His reign was blessed by good harvests and plentiful resources, so he’s mostly regarded as a successful Fire Lord. However, his philandering led to a scorned illegitimate child yearning for the throne that was held by his younger, legitimate brother, which then led to a civil war between the clans.” 

“You seem to know a lot about it,” Aang remarked thoughtfully. 

“I read a lot. It intrigues me to learn more about exactly what Sozin thought he was hiding when he burned everything from before his reign.” 

Aang relaxed, noting the quiet curiosity in Azula’s voice and none of the usual animosity he had come to expect from her. 

“Besides, it’s not just the Fire Nation’s history, it’s mine too. I am descended from these people, believe it or not,” she continued, her voice laced with guarded sarcasm. 

Aang laughed lightly, prompting a surprised look from Azula. 

“Zuko never gave up on you, you know,” he said, taking on a joking tone. “Despite your lying, cowardly, war criminal ancestors.” 

“I don’t doubt it. His stubborn persistence is one of his most annoying traits.” 

“I don’t know. I’m beginning to see why he never gave up on you.” He looked at her imploringly, smiling gently. “It’s a shame we ended up on opposite sides of the war. I think we could have learned a lot from each other. Maybe we still can.” 

She looked up at him, still guarded, but not dismissing the suggestion immediately. “Perhaps we can,” she agreed quietly. 

“Aang!” They looked up to see Zuko approaching, a wary look on his face. “May I speak to Azula?” 

“Zuko! We were just talking about you,” Aang said as he rose to his feet. “I’ll leave you to talk. Azula, thanks for the tea, and the history lesson.” 

“Of course,” Azula said, and it wasn’t said in complete annoyance. 

Zuko nodded and patted Aang on the back as he left. Looking down at the stack of books Azula had brought with her, he lifted the top one to read the title. 

“ _Historical Uses of Tattoos in Ritual Sacrifice_ ,” he read aloud. “Your interests have gotten even more esoteric.” 

“I’m surprised you know what that word means. What do you want from me?” she inquired simply. 

“I’ve had some complaints and, I have to ask: Are you pissing off the Kyoshi Warriors on purpose?" 

"Me? Why would I ever do such a thing?" she said in a tone that implied that she would indeed do such a thing. 

"Can you stop, please? It's very hard to convince people to give you a chance if you're being infuriating on purpose." 

"Ooh, 'infuriating,' who said that one?" 

He looked away silently and she sighed dramatically. 

"Fine, I will be slightly more civil." 

“Thank you. Especially today,” he said in relief. 

“How long is the White Lotus supposed to be here anyway?” Azula’s gaze swept over the palace gates, which had yet to accept their first visitors. 

“Five days.” 

Azula nodded, returning her attention back to her book. Zuko waited for her to say something else but she didn’t, already absorbed in the history of the Fire Lords. 

He sighed and turned away, and she once again became lost in the pages. 

The tea went cold and she was halfway through _Historical Uses of Tattoos in Ritual Sacrifice_ when someone called her name. 

"Azula!" 

She blinked and looked up, yanked suddenly from vivid descriptions of the sacrifices performed by an ancient sect of desert dwellers. 

She stood and smiled at the sight of a familiar face. 

A man barreled towards her, lifting her off the ground in a tight hug. 

"I'm injured," she protested, her voice strained. 

He dropped her, and upon further inspection, Suki realized he was just a teenager, albeit a tall one. 

"Sorry, 'Zula. Didn't know that." He rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. 

“It’s okay,” she said with a slightly forced smile, clutching her side loosely. “How have you been? How’s your arm?” 

"Good as new! A healer lady moved into town and she fixed it right up." 

Suki cleared her throat loudly. The smile dropped from Azula’s face and she glanced over at Suki, annoyed at the disturbance. 

"Suki, this is Piandao's apprentice, Kazumi. Kazumi, this is Suki. She's a Kyoshi Warrior,” Azula drawled. 

The boy looked at Suki with stars in his eyes, awestruck. 

"Really? That's so cool! Could you teach me how to chi-block?" he asked excitedly. 

"I thought you were trying to be a master swordsman. Why do you need to know how to chi block?" Azula stated. 

"Hey, you never know when it could come in handy." He lifted his arms defensively. 

"I'm still slightly confused about how you two know each other," Suki said, a hint of quiet amusement in her voice. 

"I started with Piandao when Azula was staying with him." 

Azula cleared her throat loudly and smacked his arm with the back of her hand, but it was too late. 

"You. . . stayed with Piandao?" Suki asked cautiously. 

Azula sighed, physically deflating. “I did.” 

Before Suki could respond, the man in question approached from the side. 

"Princess Azula." Piandao bowed, and Azula returned the gesture. 

"Come here, old man," she said with a smile. 

He laughed and embraced her. 

"Hey, I haven't gone completely gray yet." 

Piandao placed a casual hand on top of Azula's head, mussing her hair slightly. 

"Are they treating you well here at the royal palace?" 

"Well, I haven't been executed or institutionalized yet, so I can't really complain." 

He laughed. "Glad to see you in higher spirits." 

Azula turned to Jeong Jeong, at Piandao’s side, and bowed. “Jeong Jeong.” 

“Azula. It’s good to see you alive and well.” 

“She’s injured!” Kazumi announced dutifully, prompting a glare from Azula. 

“I’m fine,” Azula reassured before either of them could express their concern. 

“I thought I told you to be careful,” Piandao admonished. 

Suki was stunned by the amount of concern he was showing Azula and equally as stunned by the way she so easily accepted it. Even her body language, though still guarded, was about as open as Suki had ever seen. 

“I’m not dead. Isn’t that careful enough?” Azula replied drily. 

He sighed. “Fair enough. What was it this time?” 

“Bandits.” 

Jeong Jeong nodded approvingly and received an elbow in the side from Piandao. 

“Oh, we brought some of your stuff!” Kazumi exclaimed. “Can I bring it up to your room?” 

“Ask my _bodyguards_.” Azula gestured vaguely in Suki’s direction. 

Several expectant looks snapped Suki back to the present and she nodded, still slightly dazed at the interaction that had unfolded before her eyes, and sluggish from hours of inactivity. 

Kazumi waved two servants over who were carrying a trunk between them. 

“Where’s your room?” he asked as they approached, placed the trunk at his feet, bowed, and left. 

“It’s on the upper levels. We can take the elevator if you don’t want to carry that all the way up the stairs.” 

“You guys have an elevator? Since when?” he asked excitedly. 

“It’s a new addition,” Suki remarked. “Sokka added it a few years ago.” 

Azula shuddered in disgust as Suki smiled lovingly at the thought of her boyfriend. 

“Jeong Jeong and I are going to get settled then. We’ll see you two kids later,” Piandao said with an amused smile. 

Kazumi tapped two fingers to his forehead in a casual salute as they walked off. 

“Can you get the other side?” he asked Azula as he grabbed one of the handles on the side. 

"You are still injured. I got it." Suki took the trunk handle on the other side and lifted it. 

“Can you show me around the palace? The secret, never-before-seen, exclusive princess tour?” Kazumi asked as they made their way to the elevator. 

“There’s not much else to see, and I am no longer allowed to access the secret passages,” Azula replied. 

“This place has secret passages?” 

“Every good palace has secret passages,” Azula stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Oh, right.” He nodded. “What have you been up to lately?” 

“Not much. Just got kidnapped by my brother and his goody-two-shoes friends.” Azula flashed a benign smile at Suki. “You?” 

Kazumi brightened and immediately started talking about everything that had happened in the past six months. By the time they made the short distance to the elevator, Azula was twitching with impatience. 

The elevator attendant bowed and pulled the gate open. 

“What floor?” he asked as they filed in. 

“Seventh, please,” Suki said. 

“There are seven floors?” Kazumi asked. 

“There are ten, actually,” Azula replied. The elevator lurched up and started its journey upward. 

“There are ten floors and you’re only on the seventh?” He shook his head disapprovingly. “You gotta upgrade.” 

“Right, because I’m in such a good position to negotiate my living arrangements. The other option was a mental institution,” Azula said lightly. “Everything above the 8th floor isn’t living quarters anyway.” 

Kazumi turned to the other Kyoshi Warrior who was accompanying them, a girl who had remained silent for the entirety of their conversation. 

“What’s your name?” he asked politely. 

“S-Sachiko,” she said, startled that he had addressed her. 

“Oh, I knew a Sachiko once. Do you go by Sachi?” 

“Sometimes.” 

He nodded affirmatively, feeling the awkward tension in the air, and turned to Azula. 

“What did you do to them?” he asked in amusement. 

“Threw them in prison and impersonated them in order to take over Ba Sing Se,” Azula said with a sigh. 

“Oh! That’s fun. Did you apologize?” he said pointedly. 

The doors slid open. 

“Oh, look. We’re here.” Azula walked out without another word. 

He rolled his eyes and hoisted the trunk up once again. He thanked the elevator attendant and followed after Azula. 

She pushed the door open and held it, making an exaggerated gesture for them to enter. 

“This is your room? I thought it would be more . . . impressive.” 

“It’s empty," Azula said with a roll of her eyes. "I was going to ask Zuko what he did with the rest of my things, but it keeps slipping my mind.” 

Suki and Kazumi set the trunk down at the foot of her neatly-made bed. 

"Oh, I have to check it first. Just to make sure there's no weapons or anything in there," Suki said suddenly. 

Kazumi paused, biting his lip in concern. 

"I forgot about that. Give me a second." 

He whirled around and knelt in front of the trunk, flipping the top open. To Suki and Azula's amusement, he pulled out various weapons of all shapes and sizes. 

“So that’s why it was so heavy,” Suki observed. 

"Kaz, most of these aren't even mine," Azula said. Suki noted the nickname with curiosity. 

"Hey, a girl can never have too many weapons," he replied. 

"You're not wrong," Suki said. “What’s this?” 

She picked a short, metal stick out of the growing arsenal on the floor. Azula held out her hand and Suki looked at her skeptically. 

“I’m not going to use it to attack you,” Azula said in exasperation. 

Suki reluctantly handed it over. Azula twisted it and the ends shot out. 

“It’s a retractable staff,” Azula explained. She pushed the ends back in and twisted it back into place. 

"Oh, wow,” Suki said, quickly getting over her initial surprise. “I think I'm going to confiscate this. For . . . security reasons."

"Okay, I think that's it." Kazumi stood, brushing off his knees. "I brought some of your clothes, some letters, and other random stuff you left." 

"Thank you. I'll look through it later." Azula patted him on the back absentmindedly. 

"Later? Why not now?" 

"I'm supposed to have _tea_ with my _uncle_." She said it like she was dreading it. 

"Can I come?" Kazumi pleaded. 

"Why?" Azula replied skeptically. 

"Piandao and Jeong Jeong are doing White Lotus stuff and I have no one to hang out with." 

She sighed. "Fine. Just don't say anything." 

* * *

Piandao found Zuko surrounded by attendants and advisors of various areas of expertise, preparing for the nearly week-long gathering of White Lotus masters. 

"Fire Lord Zuko, may I speak with you privately?" Piandao asked. 

"Yes, of course, just not right now. I have to prepare for the meeting," Zuko said apologetically. 

"It's about your sister." 

Zuko paused, looking at Piandao in confusion. 

"I suppose I can spare a few minutes. Will you walk with me to my study?" 

“Of course. Lead the way.” 

“So, what about Azula?” Zuko handed a scroll to a servant and gestured for Piandao to follow him out of the room. 

“I’m not sure how much your guards have told you about my interactions with Azula, but we crossed paths several times over the past five years. In fact, she stayed with me for more than a year.” 

Zuko paused, looking at him in surprise. “And you didn’t tell anyone?” 

“Besides Jeong Jeong, no.” 

They walked in silence for several minutes, Zuko mulling over what he had just learned and Piandao patiently waiting for his response. 

They reached the study and Zuko wordlessly opened the door, inviting Piandao in. He sat behind his desk and motioned for Piandao to do the same opposite him. 

“What do you mean, she stayed with you? She didn’t . . . threaten you, did she?” 

“Of course not. And by that I mean she lived at the castle with me, Jeong Jeong, and my apprentice. I believe you’ve met him in years past.” 

“Right, Kazumi. How did that happen?” 

“I apologize, but that’s not my story to share. All I will say is that when she first came to us, we intended to turn her over to you. However, in light of . . . new information, we decided that it wouldn’t be good for anybody to turn her in immediately.” He breathed deeply, looking his former student in the eyes. "Time does not heal wounds as well as people say it does. What it does do is put space between you and your past and allow you to reflect on it with reason." 

"Are you calling me unreasonable?" Zuko’s eyes narrowed slightly. 

"No, but she was. She hated you. Actually, she absolutely despised you. If she saw you again so soon, there is no doubt in my mind that she would have tried to kill you. And she very well might have succeeded. Judging by the look on your face, the things she had to say about you would have broken your heart." 

“But, we could have worked through it,” Zuko said helplessly. 

Piandao’s voice hardened and the steel glint returned to his eyes. 

“There is also the fact that I had no intention of returning her to the man who put a bounty on a 16-year-old’s head.” 

Zuko exhaled angrily. “You might be a member of the White Lotus, but you are also a Fire Nation citizen, and harboring a wanted fugitive is treason.” 

“And I am fully prepared to face the consequences.” He met Zuko’s gaze with a measured look. “I only ask that you first listen to what I have to say.” 

Zuko clasped his hands in front of him, shoving his anger out of the way to listen to reason. “Fine. Say your piece.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you: Pian-dad   
> because god knows azula needs a positive father figure 
> 
> also pianjeong rights lol
> 
> i'm pretty sure this was never mentioned in the show but the avatar wiki says that piandao taught zuko how to use swords


	10. Chapter 10

**ORDER OF EXECUTION [CANCELLED]**

Mai looked down at the sheet of paper in her hands, eyebrows furrowed. Right underneath was Azula’s name signed in familiar handwriting. It was shakier than Mai remembered but there was no mistaking it. 

“Found what you were looking for?” the attendant at the desk asked. Apparently, her visit to the records office was the most interesting thing that had happened to him all week, because he was looking at her with unbridled curiosity. 

“I’m going to keep this.” She carefully rolled up the paper and slipped it into her tunic. 

He looked at her skeptically then shrugged. “Alright. Need anything else?” 

“No, thank you,” she muttered, leaving the room hastily. 

A part of her, one that she had locked down years ago, was yanking at the chains deep inside her, whispering doubt and, infuriatingly, hope. 

There was a part of her that _wanted_ Azula to be lying about her reasons for saving them from execution, wanted her to have her own selfish justifications that somehow involved her protecting them from the megalomaniac that was her father, all while projecting the image of unwavering loyalty. 

No, she thought. Azula has only ever been loyal to herself. 

But Mai thought back to all of the times she had casually referred to Azula as a raving lunatic to someone and felt guilt pool in the bottom of her stomach. 

Unprompted, a memory shot to the forefront of her mind. 

_We protect each other. It’s what we do._

Her words to Azula after one of Ozai’s particularly bad outbursts, only a few months after Zuko's banishment. Mai had whisked her away with some paltry excuse of shopping or a manicure or whatever else young noblewomen are supposed to do. 

Azula had been angry then, spouting lies that _he_ had drilled into her head her entire life. 

_I deserve it. I need to be better. It has to be perfect. I can’t disappoint him._

Mai hadn’t responded, simply letting Azula rant until all of her anger had been expelled and she begrudgingly let Ty Lee drag them to a performance in the city. 

Azula had apologized later, in her own way. She came to the house with a new set of knives, calmly asserting something about how she couldn’t have Mai getting dull, and the set would help her hone her skills. Her father, ever the traditionalist, had cringed at the way Mai’s eyes gleamed as she looked over the knives, but let the princess have her way regardless. 

That was when the game started, Azula guessing how many knives she had strapped to her body and looking satisfied every time Mai gave an affirmative nod. 

The few times she got it wrong were some of the only instances she let someone _tell_ her she was wrong. After half a year, those instances became few and far between, Azula grew bored with the monotony of a perfect record, and forgot about the game, just as easily as she forgot the circumstances under which it was started. That is, until the previous morning. 

Mai’s hand drifted down to the belt that was concealed underneath her tunic, tracing her fingers across the very same knives Azula had gifted her that day. Truth be told, she had forgotten about that. She had gotten so used to putting them on and using them over the years, she forgot where they came from. They were truly state of the art, and she had never come across any that were of the same quality or a more appealing design. 

Someone called her name and she looked up suddenly, startled out of her thoughts. Zuko came out of the meeting room, a weary look on his face, surrounded by a legion of attendants. 

“Hey, how was the morning meeting?” she asked as she walked over to him. 

Zuko waved off the attendants and the look in his eyes stirred concern in Mai. 

“They want a trial,” he said slowly. 

Mai nodded in slow realization. “What did you say?” 

“I couldn’t really say much. They don’t take me seriously when it comes to Azula.” 

“That kind of makes sense. You have been pretty tolerant with her the past week.” 

“Well, she was injured and I wasn’t going to throw her in an asylum again,” he defended. 

“I’m not questioning your decisions. I’m just stating the obvious.” 

He sighed and muttered an apology. Mai opened her mouth to say something, then closed it, shaking her head dismissively. 

“What is it?” Zuko asked. 

“It’s just- Ty Lee told me she sees Lu Ten now too. She seems more mentally stable than five years ago, but maybe she’s just learned to hide it better. You prevented her from taking part in the first war trials with the defense that she wasn’t mentally fit to be seen in court. That might still work.” 

Zuko sighed and rubbed his head absentmindedly. “Actually, Piandao might have come up with a solution to that. He came to me yesterday and said that there’s a plant that curbs the effects of hallucinations. But I’m sure he wasn’t anticipating that it might be used so Azula can stand trial.” He looked up at her helplessly. “What do you think I should do?” 

Even after they broke up, Zuko still looked to Mai for advice, and she gave it willingly. Romantically or platonically, she always cared a great deal for him, enough that she was always honest with him—a trait that was rare in the royal court, and thus one that he appreciated even more. 

“Would that be the worst thing in the world? Holding her accountable for all that she’s done?” she said. The piece of paper in her sleeve became increasingly noticeable and she shifted her arms uncomfortably in an effort to ignore it. 

“Yeah, I guess I have been selfish with how I’ve been treating her. I’ve been so focused on repairing my relationship with her, that I overlooked how she treated other people.” He groaned loudly. “Something that has been repeatedly shoved in my face since yesterday afternoon.” 

“You would think they know to treat their host with more respect.” 

“All the Earth Kingdom delegates want her to stand trial as soon as possible and they’ve made it obvious that they want the ultimate punishment. Life in prison, because it would look bad for them to execute her when my father is still alive in prison,” Zuko said, frustration overflowing from his voice. 

“I see that seven years have still not tempered their appetite for Fire Nation war criminals,” Mai said drily. 

Zuko huffed lightly. “Apparently not.” 

She hesitated, brushing her fingers over the paper inside her sleeve. “Take a look at this.” 

He took the offered paper, looking down suspiciously. “What’s this?” 

“Apparently, your father ordered Ty Lee’s and my execution. Azula canceled it.” 

Zuko looked up at her and back down at the paper. “Oh,” he said quietly. 

“Did you know about it?” 

“No, I had no idea.” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, then relaxed as he looked back to Mai, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Honestly, I thought _she_ might have killed you after what happened at the Boiling Rock, but-” 

“She saved our lives, for whatever reason,” Mai said, more than a hint of malice in her voice. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Zuko asked, confused. 

“I hate owing her anything, especially my life. She’s just going to hold it over me and Ty Lee for the rest of our lives.” Mai flung her arm out in frustration. 

He gave her a sympathetic look. “I know you have been very anti-Azula in the past, so I appreciate you going along with the loose terms of her staying here.” 

“I know why you did it. That's enough for me,” she said quietly. 

“Thank you.” He smiled imploringly. “Would you mind sitting in on the afternoon meeting? I need someone there who’s more clear-headed than I am right now.” 

She hesitated. “Clear-headed” wasn’t exactly how she would describe herself right now. 

“When does it start?” 

“There’s a two-hour break and then we’re right back into it. Come have lunch with me and we can talk about it,” he suggested. 

Mai agreed, taking back the offered slip of paper. 

“What are you going to do with that?” he asked. 

“I have no idea,” she admitted. “We’ll see.” 

* * *

Since he first arrived, Kazumi had enthusiastically introduced himself to every Kyoshi Warrior assigned to guard Azula (they switched shifts every six hours). Because of this, Azula had learned far more of their names than she ever cared to. 

She had earned a reprieve from his constant chattering when Piandao had shot her a sympathetic glance and sent him on an errand, leaving her on her own (disregarding the Kyoshi Warriors). 

_Tolerance_ was a trait she was working on adding to her personality, mostly due to Piandao’s insistence and Kazumi’s presence, but it came harder than the others. 

Azula couldn’t blame him for being excited; they hadn’t seen each other in a while and she was the closest thing he had to a sister. She scoffed absentmindedly, questioning the irony of her trading one idiot brother for another. 

The door slid open and Azula looked up from where she was lying in repose against the wood floor. Evidently, the errand hadn’t taken very long. 

"Ooh, are we lying on the floor?" Kazumi walked over and flopped himself down beside Azula, arms behind his head. "What's this room for?" 

"Zuko and I used to study here." 

"Huh. That's pretty." He pointed at a painting on the wall. 

Azula didn’t respond and the room filled with silence, a rare instance in his presence. 

She remembered vividly the many instances in which she had bragged to Zuko that she was nearly caught up to his level of study, despite being two years behind him in school. 

Even more clearly, she remembered her mother chiding her for making fun of little Zuzu’s incompetence and reassuring him unconditionally, despite the fact that she was right _and_ she was better. A bitter taste filled her mouth at the realization that no one ever praised her for her exceptional work; it was simply expected. 

Kazumi ventured to break the silence. 

"What's the matter with you? You're only this dramatic if you're in a good mood or if you're sad. And you don't seem like you're in a good mood." 

Annoyed at the sudden disruption and still harboring residual anger from her memories, she smacked him in the arm a little too aggressively.

“Ow!” he whined, rubbing his arm dramatically. 

She looked over at him in alarm. 

“I didn’t mean to hit you that hard,” she muttered. 

“It’s alright,” he said with an easy smile. 

"Why is it so easy with you?" she questioned suddenly. 

“What is?” 

She waved her hand in the air above her. “Forgiveness, or accepting my apology,” she said scornfully. 

"Because I know you, and I trust that you would never intentionally do anything to hurt me. They don't have that,” he replied with a simple shrug. 

Azula sighed, eyes tracing the ceiling absentmindedly. He didn’t have to clarify who “they” were: it was all too clear. 

“Listen,” he started, and she mentally prepared herself for a Piandao-esque lecture. “It’s been a long time since you were back, and over time, people’s memories tend to become exaggerated. You left as a hallucinating, violent, bloodthirsty person and you came back . . . calmer. If I had a child, I would trust you with them. I would _not_ trust five-years-ago you with my child.” 

“You are _16._ Why would you have a child?” she cut in abruptly. 

He laughed. “I’m just saying. They probably still see you as that person who ran away, but things are different now. You just gotta show them that.” 

She tilted her head towards him, sporting a look of distaste. “I thought you were supposed to be on my side,” she said sullenly, even as she knew he was right. 

"I am, and as somebody who loves you, I feel a responsibility to tell you when you're being a raging bitch." 

“Oh, I thought I was _calmer_ now.” She rolled her eyes as he chuckled once again. 

“Yesterday, you called one of the Kyoshi Warriors a ‘dressed-up cartoon lapdog,’” he said pointedly. 

“That was me being nice,” she said indignantly. 

“If that’s your version of nice, you might be a lost cause after all,” he said with a dramatic sigh. 

She turned to glare at him once more. 

"Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right,” he defended. 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Piandao,” she remarked. 

“Well, I live with the man, so it’s kind of hard not to.” 

Azula went silent once more, fingers tapping the floor absentmindedly. 

"It's almost like earning someone's forgiveness takes work." Kazumi’s teasing voice cut through her thoughts. 

"Yeah, almost," she replied, smiling before she could stop herself. 

"Okay, enough depressing talk. Can you braid my hair?" he asked. 

"Sure," she sighed. 

Kazumi helped her to her feet, rubbing her shoulder in silent reassurance. 

They stopped at the spa, where Azula grabbed a container and a comb, met with complaints that died in the servants' throats as she glanced over at them and were immediately replaced with hasty apologies. 

“Why are they all so scared of you?” Kazumi asked in amusement as they walked the hallway. 

“I have a reputation. I also banished all the servants seven years ago,” she replied casually. 

They walked past an open door and he stopped suddenly, tugging at Azula’s arm. He looked wistfully towards the turtleduck pond, then back at Azula. 

“Can we sit by the turtleduck pond? Please?” he asked with a pout. 

“Fine,” she replied wearily. 

"Seaweed?? You're putting seaweed in my hair??" he exclaimed upon reading the container. 

"Yes, it's good for your hair. Stay still." 

He unscrewed the lid, sporting a look of distaste, and sniffed it. 

"Huh, that's not too bad." 

He stuck his pinky in the mixture and stuck it in his mouth. 

"Do not eat that, you moron!" Azula reprimanded. "Do you have no impulse control?" 

One of the Kyoshi Warriors giggled, immediately straightening her posture when Azula looked over, a faint smile on her lips. 

"I'm pretty sure you are all of my impulse control," Kaz admitted. 

"Do you just eat mysterious substances when I'm not there?" Azula questioned in disbelief. 

"I mean, yeah. How else am I supposed to know what something is?" 

"Have you ever heard of this thing called common sense?" 

"You know, it sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it," he joked with a wide smile. 

Azula sighed lightly. 

"I don't know how you've made it this far in life." 

"It's largely because of Piandao and Jeong Jeong," he admitted proudly. 

"Yeah, they're good at keeping people alive, aren't they?" she said softly. 

He hummed contently in agreement, pulling half a loaf of bread out of his pocket and tossing pieces of it into the pond. Azula weaved her fingers through his hair as she braided it, occasionally tugging his head back into place as he leaned forward to try and attract the turtleducks. 

“Azula, can I talk to you?” Zuko’s feet padded quietly across the grass, Mai at his side. 

“I’m a bit busy at the moment.” Azula raised her head to look her brother in the eyes. “What do you want?” 

Kazumi looked up, paling slightly at the tension that was already building in the air, and also the way Azula’s hands tightened in his hair. 

“Fire Lord Zuko! I would bow but-” He gestured to Azula’s hands in his hair. 

“Of course, I understand.” He shot Kazumi a sympathetic look. “Why didn’t you tell me you stayed with Piandao and Jeong Jeong?” 

“It never came up. Not that you actually spend that much time talking to me.” Azula’s hands continued interweaving strands of Kazumi’s hair into a neat plait. 

“Okay, fair enough,” Zuko said with a frustrated sigh. “Just- how?” 

“Do you remember those bounty hunters I told you about? The ones who did this?” Azula extricated one hand from Kazumi’s head to raise her arm casually. 

“Yeah, of course, I remember that,” he said impatiently. 

“I didn’t kill them. Piandao and Jeong Jeong did. It was quite a daring rescue apparently. I don’t actually remember any of it,” she replied carelessly. 

“That’s _very_ concerning.” 

“Is it?” 

“He wouldn’t tell me why he didn't turn you in, so I’m asking you,” Zuko said. 

“Zuko, did you forget that you have a plethora of advisors and ministers to bother with your inane questions? The White Lotus is not and has never been loyal to any sovereign nation, and you’re a fool if you ever thought otherwise.” 

“But it’s _Piandao._ I was his student too. He’s been nothing but supportive since I was crowned Fire Lord.” 

“And why do you think that him helping me is indicative of a subversive ideology? Because no matter what, I am almost certainly working to bring you down? Right, I completely forgot about that. Oh, look at the time! I have to send a messenger hawk to my fellow Fire Nation nationalists!” The derisive edge to her words made Zuko cringe as he realized how foolish his words had been.

Azula scoffed. “I have better things to do with my time than strive for the throne of a stuffy, temperamental nation that would just as soon see me executed.” 

“No one’s going to execute you,” he said quickly.

“Oh, so you are talking about it,” she replied indifferently. 

Zuko opened his mouth but the words died in his throat when she looked up at him again, a familiar fire burning behind her eyes. She tied off the braid, smoothing it down neatly. 

“If you have nothing else to say, you can go,” Azula stated, doing nothing to hide the quiet anger in her words. 

He didn’t know what to say, so he nodded in a stilted manner and turned away. 

“What happened to questionably friendly Azula?” Mai asked quietly as they made their way back inside. 

“It was a fever dream,” Zuko replied with a sigh. 

“Weren’t you going to ask him about where he put the rest of your stuff?” Kazumi rose to his feet and brushed off the grass that stuck to his pants. 

“I’ll find it myself. I don’t need him.” 

“Princess Azula.” A gravelly voice carried from the other side of the yard. Azula and Kazumi directed their attention towards Jeong Jeong. 

“If you have the time, I would be more than willing to go through a lesson. It’s been a while since we had one,” he offered.

“I’m fairly certain I’m not allowed to firebend,” Azula replied. 

* * *

Azula was wrong. She had been allowed to have a lesson with Jeong Jeong on the conditions that she didn’t shoot fire at anybody and didn’t overexert herself. 

“Do it again,” Jeong Jeong called from the side of the training yard. 

She went through the form one more time, making sure to keep her breathing steady. Fire shot from her limbs, strong controlled bursts of energy. 

“Good. Do the next one,” her teacher stated. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her guards switching with the next shift, one of them sporting a familiar braid. 

“How is she today?” Ty Lee asked the girls she was replacing. 

“She only scared the life out of four people, so not bad,” one replied with a grin. 

Ty Lee sighed and they exchanged a few more comments before they took off, glad to be away from Azula and on a break. 

Clad in a short tank top and arm braces, the faintest sheen of sweat had collected on Azula’s forehead. 

Ty Lee remembered how lean she used to be and compared it with the now-defined muscles of Azula’s arms. Firebending was an art that relied on stamina more than strength, and the breath more than the muscles. Previously, Azula had focused on these aspects. It would be a mistake to call her weak, but Ty Lee recognized that she had foregone brutish physical strength to develop her incredible endurance and dexterity, not to mention that it was unseemly for a princess to be visibly muscular. 

Apparently, no longer bogged down by social conventions and traditional firebending methods, Azula had become—to the horror of the court—muscly, for lack of a better word. 

Ty Lee surreptitiously traced the defined musculature of Azula’s back with her eyes, and as she went through the forms, Ty Lee caught glimpses of the tattoo on her right shoulder blade, an image depicting a crane in front of a red sun. 

Jeong Jeong offered comments as Azula moved through the sequence, her fire burning hotter and hotter with each blast. His comments were usually met with a fiery response (verbal, not physical). 

“You’re staring,” her fellow guard teased lightly. 

“Huh? Sorry,” Ty Lee said sheepishly, face burning underneath her makeup. 

Mari was a strict but fair woman who had quickly warmed up to Ty Lee, despite the other Warriors’ initial hesitance to accept her into their ranks. As Suki's second-in-command, her voice held sway with the other girls and was largely the reason they let Ty Lee join. 

“I just didn’t know she had tattoos,” Ty Lee said softly. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool. I wonder how many she has,” Mari mused. “You didn’t see them when you saw her last year?” 

Suki and Mari were the only two Kyoshi Warriors she had told about her meeting with Azula a year ago, mostly because they pried it out of her when she wasn’t acting like herself. 

“No, but she was wearing long sleeves the whole time. I guess I don’t know as much about her as I thought.” 

“It’s been seven years, Ty,” she reminded. “And it’s not your responsibility to be her friend anymore.” 

“I wasn’t her friend because I had to be,” Ty Lee replied, a little too quickly. 

Mari looked at her with concern. “Did you forget about all the times you told me about when she _bullied_ you? Why else would you put up with that?” 

“I put up with it because-” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. “Never mind. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” 

Thankfully, Azula chose that moment to get angry. 

“What did the White Lotus say about me?” she asked Jeong Jeong impatiently. 

“I’m not at liberty to say,” he replied. 

“They’re talking about me!” Azula declared angrily. “I know they are!” 

“Do the sequence again,” Jeong Jeong said with narrowed eyes. 

Going through the form, Azula had reached her wit’s end, if the way her flames flared erratically were any indication. She breathed heavily, a far cry from the collected firebender she was just a few minutes ago. 

"You don't have to tell me. I already know,” she said defensively. 

"I was actually going to say that your form is impeccable. Your control is not," Jeong Jeong replied calmly. 

"You think I don't know that?" Azula said in an irate voice. 

Mari stepped forward but Jeong Jeong waved her off. 

“Do you want to do breathing exercises for an hour?” he threatened. 

Azula scuffed the floor with her foot. “No.” 

He sighed. “Come here.” 

She approached cautiously and he pressed two fingers to her temple, where her streak of gray hair started. 

"Don't let your mind take over. Think about what's in here." He jabbed a finger into her chest, right where her heart was. "You control your fire, no one else." 

He stepped back. “Do it right, and maybe I will tell you what the White Lotus has to say about you.” 

She shot him a half-hearted glare and assumed the first position. Taking a few deep breaths, she moved stiffly through the kata, albeit more controlled than the last time. 

“Do it again,” Jeong Jeong commanded. 

Azula exhaled angrily but resumed her stance. 

“Better. Again.” 

Ty Lee was astounded at the level of respect Azula was showing to Jeong Jeong, despite being visibly frustrated with him. 

Azula finished the sequence and she paused, swaying unevenly. 

“Azula?” Jeong Jeong asked, concern written across his face. 

Suddenly lightheaded, she stumbled forward a few steps, the world tilting in front of her. 

As if moving on its own, Ty Lee’s body lunged forward as Azula dropped, and she collapsed in Ty Lee’s arms for the second time in two weeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i give you some obligatory tyzula thirst and ✨drama✨


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apologies for the unplanned hiatus; online school is kinda kicking my ass rn and i'm struggling just a little bit. i'm trying to get back into writing and also responding to comments, sorry if it took me forever before lol

Azula shot up and the room started spinning. Groaning, she braced her hand against someone’s shoulder and held her head with the other. 

“What happened?” she asked. 

“You passed out because you haven’t been eating enough,” Kazumi replied sullenly. 

He looked away angrily as Azula looked up, the room coming to a standstill. She recognized it as the infirmary, a place she had spent considerable time in during her childhood after several training “accidents.” 

“Why isn’t Piandao here to berate me?” she asked suspiciously. 

“Oh, he’s about to be. Piandao!” he hollered. 

“Traitor,” she muttered. 

Piandao was at her bedside in seconds, moving at a speed she didn’t think was possible for a man his age. 

“Hello,” Azula said casually. 

“Why haven’t you been eating?” Piandao asked unceremoniously. 

She waved her hand in the air dismissively. 

“Azula,” he said angrily. 

“What?” she snapped, meeting his gaze with a glare of her own. 

His eyes softened and he sat on the bed next to her. “You need to be more considerate of yourself, especially with an injury like that.” 

“Yes, my body needs energy so it can heal. You have given me this speech several times,” Azula replied nonchalantly, sounding almost bored. 

“And every time, it seems to go in one ear and out the other. You are an adult. Why is it so hard for you to take care of yourself?” He looked at her intently, seeming to already know the answer to his question. 

She avoided his gaze and instead looked to Kazumi, who was still sulking. 

“Can you give us a second?” she asked him quietly. 

He rose silently and exited the room without looking at her. 

“Why is he mad?” Azula asked. 

“Because he cares about you and he wants you to be healthy,” Piandao said gently. 

She looked away, pinching the side of her leg in a vain attempt to stop her lips from quivering. 

“Azula,” he prodded lightly. 

She glowered up at him. 

“Come here.” 

He wrapped his arms around her before she could protest. She froze for a few seconds before leaning into the hug, her chin digging into his shoulder in a way that couldn’t have been comfortable. 

“It’s okay,” he said softly as he rubbed her back slowly. 

She breathed out heavily, trembling as she desperately tried to prevent tears from falling. 

“I hate it here,” she whispered. “I’m so tired and nothing’s getting better.” She inhaled shakily. “I thought _I_ was getting better.” 

“Azula, healing is not linear,” Piandao said gently. “Often the biggest setbacks occur when we face the things in our past that are dragging us down. Just because you feel yourself getting low again doesn’t mean you aren’t getting better. I’m very proud of the progress you’ve made but there’s still a long way to go.” 

She pulled away, her fingers tightening around the cloth of her pants. 

“I thought it would be easier,” she said quietly. “Coming back. I thought about it, you know I did. I just- I didn’t think it would be like this at all.” 

“What’s the problem?” he asked. 

“Everything! Everybody hates me and-” Her voice faltered. “I think I’m the problem.” 

“Zuko wouldn’t have brought you back if he didn’t want you back.” 

“I think he just wanted me to stop causing him trouble out in the real world,” Azula scoffed lightly. 

“That may be true but it seems like he just wants the best for you. He’s extended a hand, and all he wants is for you to meet him in the middle.” 

“How can I meet him in the middle if this isn't where I want to be?” Azula snapped. 

Piandao gave her a sympathetic look and squeezed her shoulder. “I know. How’s your head?” 

She knew he didn’t mean physically. 

“It’s- I’m not sure.” She inhaled deeply. “It’s confusing . . . being haunted by somebody who’s still alive.” 

“Your mother,” he replied quietly. 

“I see her _all the time_ and I can’t tell if she’s real or not.” Azula’s voice broke. “I’m so confused.” 

“I heard that she’s living in the city now. Have you thought about going to see her?” 

“I don’t want to see her more than I already do. I don’t want to see her at all,” Azula said, malice leaking into her voice. “She doesn’t talk to me anymore. She’s just _there,_ looking sad and disappointed and I hate it.” 

Her voice with each word until she was spitting them out like she couldn’t bother to have them inside her for one second. 

“I talked to your brother,” Piandao said cautiously. 

She looked up at him suspiciously. 

“Don’t worry,” he reassured. “We’re not conspiring against you.” 

“Hmph. What did you talk about then?” she asked, somewhat satisfied by his reassurances. 

“I explained the situation to him, and I suggested that you start taking something to help with your hallucinations.” 

“I didn’t realize such a thing existed,” Azula muttered. 

“For a long time, it didn’t. Several years ago, a plant known as the Sun Thistle was discovered to be able to lessen the effects of hallucinations if consumed as a tea.” 

“How much has this _Sun Thistle_ been tested?” 

“I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t have complete faith that it was safe and that it could help you.” 

She could feel his gaze on her even as she looked down at her fingers, playing with them to divert her energy. 

“Would you be open to trying it?” he asked. 

Azula contemplated quietly. She had lived with the people in her head for so long, she didn’t know what it would be like to live without them. And she was dealing with it (was she?). She tried to think of a time when her mind was clear and she was unburdened by voices, voices that she could never really tell were others or her own, the deepest parts of herself disguised as those whose expectations she had never lived up to, or exceeded in entirely the wrong way. 

She could barely remember being a carefree child. It seemed more like a dream than a distant memory. With vivid contrast, she remembered the heavy hand of her father coming down on her when she was anything less than perfect, the way he never praised her for getting it _right_ and only ever punished her for getting it _wrong._

“Azula?” Piandao asked, recognizing the glassy look in her eyes all too well. 

Azula snapped her gaze up to his, the life returning to her eyes. She heard her father calling her weak for even _contemplating_ this, and saw her mother staring sadly out of the corner of her eye. 

“I’ll try it,” she muttered, her voice cutting through the others into the otherwise silent room. 

“Good. This is a big step. I’m proud of you.” He waited for a second for his words to sink in but didn’t prod her for a response. “Now, will you please come eat something?” 

She sighed dramatically. “Fine. 

“There’s that attitude I missed so much,” he grinned lightly. 

“Whatever,” she replied with a roll of her eyes, but let a smile sneak its way onto her lips. 

* * *

Kazumi stared glumly down at the pond, absentmindedly tugging pieces of grass out of the ground as the noise of quacking turtleducks filled the air. 

“What’s on your mind?” 

He swiveled his head to the side, greeted by a gently smiling face painted in the way of the Kyoshi Warriors. She twirled her braid around her finger, leaning closer. 

“You seem upset,” Ty Lee explained. “Zuko does this too. He comes to watch the turtleducks whenever he’s thinking about something.” 

He hesitated, then sighed. 

“It’s Azula, actually,” he said quietly. 

“I’ve been there. You two seem close.” She inched forward hesitantly. 

“Yeah, she pretty much family at this point,” he sighed. 

Her face softened and she stepped closer. “May I?” 

“Yeah, go ahead,” he said, motioning at the spot next to him. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Of course!” she replied, sitting cross-legged next to him. 

“Don’t you guys all hate her? Didn’t she throw you in prison?” he asked. 

“We- I wasn’t originally part of the Kyoshi Warriors. We actually met in the prison that Azula sent us to,” Ty Lee explained, her voice stilted. “Before that, I was her best friend. We kind of have a complicated relationship.” 

“It’s kinda weird, hearing about all the stuff she did,” he admitted. “That’s not the person I know at all. Like, I know who she is and all that, but it just seems so wrong. Azula plays kickball and trains with me, and she even prays with me sometimes. She doesn’t try to kill her family members and throw her best friends in prison.” 

“People change,” she said softly. “The Azula I knew would never do any of the things you said.” 

“But she’s the same person, so how come we have such different views of her?” he asked helplessly. 

“Well, how did you come to know her?” Ty Lee placed a gentle hand on his, stilling the fingers that had become more aggressive in their assault on the lawn. 

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s fine, just don’t let the gardeners see you doing that. They’ll have your head,” she said with a smile. 

He returned the smile and clasped his hands together. “My parents died when I was 12. They were junior members of the White Lotus and pretty close with Piandao, so he took me in and made me his apprentice when they passed away.” 

“I’m sorry. That must have been really hard.” 

“Yeah, it was tough,” he admitted quietly. “But Azula helped a lot, believe it or not. She really didn’t like me at first, but I don’t know. I grew on her, I guess.” 

Ty Lee smiled. “That’s usually how it works with her.” 

“Yeah, but to be fair, I was kind of annoying,” he said. 

She laughed lightly and his shoulders relaxed, his expression becoming more open. 

“I couldn’t sleep a lot of the time,” he continued.” And she had a hard time sleeping too, so we would go up to the roof and look at the stars, trying to make our own constellations. Piandao always pretended like he didn’t know what we were doing, but I always saw him smiling whenever Azula and I yawned. I think he was glad we were bonding.” He took a deep breath and smiled, drawing a circle in the grass with his finger. “She helped me, but I think I helped her too. She wasn’t . . . doing very well. Jeong Jeong and Piandao had to rescue her from a bunch of bounty hunters and she got hurt pretty badly. I think that really messed with her self-esteem. It took a while, but she eventually got back on track. She picked up sword fighting with Piandao a lot faster than I did. And I think Jeong Jeong actually likes her, and he doesn’t like _anybody_.” 

He looked up suddenly. “Sorry, I’ve been talking a lot.” 

“No, it’s fine. It’s . . . interesting to hear about Azula from another point of view,” Ty Lee admitted. 

“What about you? How did you two become friends?” he asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. 

“We went to school together. One day during recess, she walked up to me and said ‘We’re going to be friends.’ And she was right. We were best friends.” She drifted off, her gaze becoming unfocused. “Maybe even a little more than that,” she added quietly. 

Kazumi looked at her carefully, catching her mournful expression. 

“She talked about you a lot. Or at least, more than she talked about anyone else,” he offered. 

“I can imagine what she said,” Ty Lee said with a sigh, bringing her gaze back up to look him in the eyes. 

“It wasn’t all bad. I mean, it was pretty bad in the beginning,” he admitted. “But then it was mostly sad. On rare occasions when she wasn’t feeling that bad, sometimes she even talked about good memories you two had. Well, all three of you. But you specifically too.” 

“Really?” she asked, her curiosity piqued. 

He nodded, smiling at a memory. 

“One time, she snuck a bottle of saké from the kitchen and drank all of it.” 

“The whole bottle?” Ty Lee asked incredulously, more for appearances than anything else. 

“Yeah, she was going through something. But somehow we started talking about her past and that led to talking about you,” Kazumi cautiously. 

“Oh.” Ty Lee’s cheeks burned, and she was more glad than ever that the makeup covered her blush. It had honestly never occurred to her that Azula might have talked to her to other people, let alone when she was drunk. 

“Please keep in mind that she was wasted when this happened. She said that your laugh was one of her favorite sounds in the world, but she had forgotten what it actually sounded like. She just remembered that she loved it.” 

“She really said that?” Ty Lee’s hand shot up to cover her mouth, which was dropped in disbelief. 

Kazumi nodded, the corner of his mouth quirking up in an amused smile at her expression. “Don’t tell her I told you that. I would like to live past the age of 16.” 

She nodded wordlessly, her hand dropping into her lap. 

“She felt really guilty about how she treated you,” he added quietly. “She only admitted that years after she came to stay with Piandao.” 

“Did she stay the entire time?” Ty Lee had a million other questions, but somehow that was the one that came out. 

“No, she stayed for about a year the first time, then she moved on. She came back about a year ago, stayed for a few more months and then left again. That’s why I was so excited to see her. I haven’t in a while.” 

“Wait, a _year_ ago?” Ty Lee thought about what had happened with her and Azula a year ago. “Do you know why?” 

His hands stilled and he looked away. 

“She lost someone. Someone she cared about a lot. It was rough for a while. One of the reasons she got drunk and spilled her heart out to me.” 

“Lost, like-” 

“Like they died,” he said. 

“Oh,” was all Ty Lee could manage, and suddenly several things became clear. She remembered how Azula had been so withdrawn, and the mistrust in her eyes that Ty Lee had mistaken as a result of her complicated past (though, that was certainly a factor). But she also remembered the way Azula took care of Ty Lee and dried her clothes and accepted an offered gift with no complaint. 

She thought of the gray in Azula’s hair, brought on by stress and heartbreak and too many years of running from her past. She thought of Azula’s initial hesitation as Ty Lee pulled her into a hug she didn’t shy away from, and the way she held Ty Lee like she was terrified of letting her go. 

“She was thinking about coming back. Here, I mean. To the capital.” Kazumi’s voice snapped her out of her meandering thoughts. “She swore she would never set foot here again as long as she lived, but something changed her mind. Either way, she ended up back here.” 

“Yeah, she did,” Ty Lee said absentmindedly, her mind still swimming in what he had told her.

A chill ran up her spine and she became aware of an overwhelming presence that could only belong to one person. 

“I see you’ve met Ty Lee.” Azula addressed Kazumi, standing several feet away from her. 

“Mhm,” he replied nonchalantly. 

He rose to his feet and extended a hand to Ty Lee, who accepted gratefully and pulled her herself up lightly. 

Kazumi’s words echoed in Ty Lee’s mind, as she locked eyes with Azula. _She lost someone_.

It became painstakingly obvious, and Ty Lee wondered how she had missed it before. Azula looked tired, more than anything, the kind of fatigue that could not be erased by sleep, the kind that settled in your soul and stayed. There was something missing, and it made Azula’s cavalier facade that much easier to see through, not that she spent that much energy maintaining it these days. 

“Me passing out in your arms seems to be becoming a pattern,” Azula began. “Twice in two weeks now.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess,” Ty Lee stammered. 

Azula scuffed the ground with her foot and exhaled heavily. “Thank you. For not letting me smack my head against the ground.” 

“There’s already enough wrong with your head.” The words spilled out of Ty Lee’s mouth before she could stop them and she paused, eyes widening and face paling as she realized what she had said. 

Azula raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into an amused smirk. “Look who grew a backbone.” 

Cringing, Ty Lee waited for the other shoe to drop, for Azula’s eyes to narrow, and for her to start screaming abuse. 

“Good for you,” Azula said instead, and Ty Lee could see a hint of the woman who had made tea and given up her bed for a night so Ty Lee could be comfortable. The woman who apparently waxed poetic about her laugh when she got drunk. Not the girl she was afraid of, but the girl Ty Lee used to love all those years ago. 

Ty Lee swore internally, recognizing the feelings swelling up in her chest all too well, feelings she thought were long gone. She didn’t _want_ this and she was already happy and-

Azula’s hand shot up just in time to prevent an apple from smacking her squarely in the forehead. She whipped her head to the side, eyes narrowed, and Ty Lee was extremely grateful for both the distraction and the person behind it. 

“Eat something, you idiot,” Mai said curtly from the side of the garden. 

“Hi, Mai!” Ty Lee said brightly. 

“Nice throw, Mai. Have you been finding time to practice between all your official advisor duties?” Azula asked, tossing the apple up into the air. The praise was thinly veiled sarcasm, like it always was. 

Ty Lee bounded over and kissed Mai on the cheek lightly, and Azula rolled her eyes. 

She clenched the apple in her hand, and felt, agonizingly, the disconnect that remained between the three of them. No, the disconnect that remained between her and them. They were no longer Azula and Mai and Ty Lee. They were no longer a united front or the most fearsome trio in the Fire Nation; it was them and her, the distance between them as wide as the Great Divide. 

They spoke no more words to each other, but there was a moment of mutual understanding between them and Azula took a bite of the apple. 

They turned away from each other, the imaginary thread holding their gazes together snapping. 

As Mai and Ty Lee walked off, they heard a sliver of conversation that prompted a smile from the latter. 

“Why are you hugging me?” 

“Because I love you.” 

“Shut up.” 

* * *

Azula knocked on the door hesitantly; it swung inward almost immediately. 

"Princess," Jeong Jeong greeted cordially. 

"May I speak with you?" she asked quietly. 

He nodded and beckoned for her to enter his quarters. 

"You can wait out here," Jeong Jeong addressed the Kyoshi Warriors flanking her sides abruptly and shut the door in their faces. He turned back to Azula. "Did my partner succeed in getting you to eat something?" 

"He did." She took a deep breath, wringing her hands behind her back where he couldn't see them. "I would like to apologize for my outburst earlier. It was not my place to demand information from you." 

He nodded. "Your apology is accepted. However, I'm still not going to tell you what the White Lotus is saying about you." 

"Piandao already told me," she replied. 

He scoffed, shaking his head lightly. "That man has always been far too soft on you." 

"You balance each other out," Azula said with a shrug. 

"Sit down." He motioned to a pair of chairs, one of which she sat in tentatively. Silently, he looked her up and down, contemplating both his role in the White Lotus and his relationship with her. Finally, he sighed, leaning back into the chair. "Between us and your uncle, you needn't worry about the White Lotus. We are far more worried about your rehabilitation than your imprisonment." 

"I didn't realize my uncle cared enough about me to defend me to his peers." 

"He had a change of heart after your recent apology." 

"Oh, so that did the trick then," Azula said, seemingly disinterested as she checked her nails in a feint of boredom. 

Jeong Jeong looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, an unamused expression on his face. "I'm sure he would change his mind just as easily if he knew you did not mean it." 

Her eyes shot up to his, wide in an indiscernible expression. "I- I meant it." 

He studied her carefully and, confident that she was telling the truth, nodded. "Good." 

She leaned back in the chair, tapping the arm absentmindedly. 

They were both people of few words, especially in recent years in Azula's case, but they had fallen into a pattern of communication that was more clear than talking. The way their bodies moved, how they observed a situation, and their insight into each other's pasts all served to provide an understanding between them that she found much easier to sustain than any other, especially Zuko's mildly exasperated attempts to start conversations with her that she wasn't interested in and Piandao's insistence that she _talk_ about her _feelings_ when she was upset. 

"About our firebending lessons," Azula started suddenly. 

"Yes?" he replied. 

"I would like to try again." 

"Very well. I'll see you at dawn tomorrow." 

She stood and bowed, her hands held in front of her in the traditional Fire Nation style. "Thank you. I promise I'll be more focused this time." 

"Don't be late," was his only response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear, Azula does not have an eating disorder but lack of appetite and/or forgetting to eat is a symptom of depression
> 
> I hope y'all are not doing what she's doing and taking care of yourselves!!
> 
> anyways, i changed the formatting just a little because i realized that when i copy and paste the text from google docs into ao3, the line breaks are huge and it makes it harder to read. sorry if that caused a problem before!


End file.
